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Just a simple day

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Hello again! Where to start... Hope you all have been doing well. As for me... to put it simply, I ended my relationship. My 3 year relationship. Almost the entire time I was away from this blog, I was in Texas. I moved there to be with my then boyfriend and the relationship didn't work out. So I moved back to Colorado. I will save that story for another day. For now, I will talk about how this day went.  I woke up kind of late. It's a little sad saying this but sometimes I feel my dreams are more interesting than reality, so I choose to stay dreaming..😴 I don't recall exactly how the dream went but I was with a group of friends exploring these underwater caves, except we could breathe underwater. And I recall we came to the end of the cave maze and I helped to push open this stone slab blocking the exit, and outside, there were these Greek looking people and we were hiding from them so we went back in the cave and closed the slab stone door.  My mom flew back to Hawaii to
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Insecurities about the past

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I'll try to start from the beginning. I didn't really want to write about anything too personal on this blog, even though I know that anyone in question probably wouldn't find it. But even so, a part of me still doesn't want to write. What if it ends up as something I don't wish to remember? ... I would probably delete these posts and erase the tangible memory. Since I haven't shared this blog with anyone who I would mind reading, I think it's okay to allow myself to indulge in writing my thoughts to no one in particular. In the warm month of August 2017, I entered into a long distance relationship with a special person I've been writing to for roughly two years. We were essentially pen pals. The platform we used was a texting app yet our messages were as long as an email. It's quite amazing how far we've come, and how quickly our relationship has progressed. He is also my first serious relationship. All these emotions are very new to me. T
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Trying to catch up with life

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There are those times in life where too many things are happening at once. Right now, I'm going through this (albeit, gracefully). Here's some life events that I'm trying to navigate my way through. I'll list them below: 1. Dating 2. New job 3. Looking for an apartment / anticipating living on my own 4. Anticipating future online classes  #1   I'll start with the first event. Dating. (-__-;;) I guess I'm at a point in my life where I feel like I should date to meet a future partner if I ever want to have one in this lifetime. I know, I know... this sounds dramatic but it's my thought process right now. I believe I've already spilled my guts about my 'relationship virgin' status so I won't get into that. I'm using online dating as a tool to meet people but it's pretty difficult. So far, I've lasted 5 dates with one person but it ended up dissolving. Currently, I'm chatting with a different guy from the dating app and I
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Dating makes me T I R E D

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It's been about half a month of dating escapades. Specifically, online dating. I honestly don't see much of a difference once things go offline unless the couple was friends before or something. I'm fortunate to have not encountered any obvious pervs or creepos thus far. But I get sooooooo worn out from dating. Mentally. Let me give an example. I've been on about 3 dates so far with one guy. He is nice, friendly, and polite but as I get to know him more with each passing date, I also get more anxious about his intentions and if we even have that magical connection everyone keeps talking about. So many questions plague my mind after these dates. Should I keep seeing him? Why does he check his phone so often? (Note: I found out the answer to this question on date #2). Who is supposed to be paying on these dates? If he lets me split the bill, does that indicate that he only sees me as a friend? Since he asked ME out somewhere, does this mean he should be paying?
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What I've been up to...

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Omg, so I joined... a dating app! 😖 I'm surprised at myself. Conservative me? No way! I made a profile keeping it as private as I could and answered most of the 'questions'. I've been putting this off for so long and I finally said, f*ck it. I'm doing this NOW! This is one of those things that I always thought about doing because if I don't put myself out there and wait for fate to kick in (if it ever does), nothing may ever happen. I've decided to put dating into my own hands and see what I can find. I don't talk about my dating life at all because I've never had one. I went through high school with minimal interaction with the opposite sex and went through college in a similar fashion. Maybe it's because I wasn't in a university setting and didn't dorm. I don't know. The only thing I know is that I never got that experience and it's a little awkward to talk about it because it probably sounds so bizarre to people. I think th
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Online Friends: the complexity of messaging

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NOTE: When I say 'online friends', I mean friends you met and converse with primarily online opposed to in person. And once again, I've created another long ass essay on a first world problem! 😊👍 I've had only a handful of online friends over the past decade. (I feel so old when I say that.. lol). I exchanged emails with one of them for maybe 10 years now.. One of the things that I really struggled with and still struggle with today is message response time. How long should it take this person to respond to you? How long should it take you to respond to them? Should you respond to them in the same amount of time it took them to respond to you? My brain hurts... 😱 I honestly believe that the 'rules' of texting-and-email-etiquette for dating and friends you see on a daily basis doesn't quite transfer well into the realm of penpals and online friends. This is because you've never met this online friend in person, or maybe you did meet them but o
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The benefits of journaling

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I learned a very valuable lesson today. Journaling has more benefits than I thought! Today, I went to my first nurse interview. I got help from my mom since she sent a referral for me. I don't know if I could have gotten this opportunity to interview without her. Thanks mom! 💖💖💖 The first few questions of the interview were pretty easy because they were common questions like: Why do you want to work here? Tell me about yourself Where did you have your clinicals? Easy peasy. The second part of the interview consisted of the harder questions and the interviewers told me so. Yippee! I'm so happy I'm aware of the difficult questions to come! Thanks!!! 😀 *That was sarcasm btw* Most of the questions were about my clinical experiences and what I did in certain situations. This part was difficult for me not necessarily because of the questions, but because I had to recall clinical experiences that I barely remembered. The entire time I was thinking, "OMG, how
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