Do Re Mi

Hello again! Where to start... Hope you all have been doing well. As for me... to put it simply, I ended my relationship. My 3 year relationship. Almost the entire time I was away from this blog, I was in Texas. I moved there to be with my then boyfriend and the relationship didn't work out. So I moved back to Colorado. I will save that story for another day. For now, I will talk about how this day went.  I woke up kind of late. It's a little sad saying this but sometimes I feel my dreams are more interesting than reality, so I choose to stay dreaming..😴 I don't recall exactly how the dream went but I was with a group of friends exploring these underwater caves, except we could breathe underwater. And I recall we came to the end of the cave maze and I helped to push open this stone slab blocking the exit, and outside, there were these Greek looking people and we were hiding from them so we went back in the cave and closed the slab stone door.  My mom flew back to Hawaii to...

I'll try to start from the beginning. I didn't really want to write about anything too personal on this blog, even though I know that anyone in question probably wouldn't find it. But even so, a part of me still doesn't want to write. What if it ends up as something I don't wish to remember? ... I would probably delete these posts and erase the tangible memory. Since I haven't shared this blog with anyone who I would mind reading, I think it's okay to allow myself to indulge in writing my thoughts to no one in particular. In the warm month of August 2017, I entered into a long distance relationship with a special person I've been writing to for roughly two years. We were essentially pen pals. The platform we used was a texting app yet our messages were as long as an email. It's quite amazing how far we've come, and how quickly our relationship has progressed. He is also my first serious relationship. All these emotions are very new to me. T...

There are those times in life where too many things are happening at once. Right now, I'm going through this (albeit, gracefully). Here's some life events that I'm trying to navigate my way through. I'll list them below: 1. Dating 2. New job 3. Looking for an apartment / anticipating living on my own 4. Anticipating future online classes  #1   I'll start with the first event. Dating. (-__-;;) I guess I'm at a point in my life where I feel like I should date to meet a future partner if I ever want to have one in this lifetime. I know, I know... this sounds dramatic but it's my thought process right now. I believe I've already spilled my guts about my 'relationship virgin' status so I won't get into that. I'm using online dating as a tool to meet people but it's pretty difficult. So far, I've lasted 5 dates with one person but it ended up dissolving. Currently, I'm chatting with a different guy from the dating app and I...

It's been about half a month of dating escapades. Specifically, online dating. I honestly don't see much of a difference once things go offline unless the couple was friends before or something. I'm fortunate to have not encountered any obvious pervs or creepos thus far. But I get sooooooo worn out from dating. Mentally. Let me give an example. I've been on about 3 dates so far with one guy. He is nice, friendly, and polite but as I get to know him more with each passing date, I also get more anxious about his intentions and if we even have that magical connection everyone keeps talking about. So many questions plague my mind after these dates. Should I keep seeing him? Why does he check his phone so often? (Note: I found out the answer to this question on date #2). Who is supposed to be paying on these dates? If he lets me split the bill, does that indicate that he only sees me as a friend? Since he asked ME out somewhere, does this mean he should be paying? ...

Omg, so I joined... a dating app! 😖 I'm surprised at myself. Conservative me? No way! I made a profile keeping it as private as I could and answered most of the 'questions'. I've been putting this off for so long and I finally said, f*ck it. I'm doing this NOW! This is one of those things that I always thought about doing because if I don't put myself out there and wait for fate to kick in (if it ever does), nothing may ever happen. I've decided to put dating into my own hands and see what I can find. I don't talk about my dating life at all because I've never had one. I went through high school with minimal interaction with the opposite sex and went through college in a similar fashion. Maybe it's because I wasn't in a university setting and didn't dorm. I don't know. The only thing I know is that I never got that experience and it's a little awkward to talk about it because it probably sounds so bizarre to people. I think th...

I learned a very valuable lesson today. Journaling has more benefits than I thought! Today, I went to my first nurse interview. I got help from my mom since she sent a referral for me. I don't know if I could have gotten this opportunity to interview without her. Thanks mom! 💖💖💖 The first few questions of the interview were pretty easy because they were common questions like: Why do you want to work here? Tell me about yourself Where did you have your clinicals? Easy peasy. The second part of the interview consisted of the harder questions and the interviewers told me so. Yippee! I'm so happy I'm aware of the difficult questions to come! Thanks!!! 😀 *That was sarcasm btw* Most of the questions were about my clinical experiences and what I did in certain situations. This part was difficult for me not necessarily because of the questions, but because I had to recall clinical experiences that I barely remembered. The entire time I was thinking, "OMG, how...

Baby kale sprouts As my job hunt continues, I need things to focus on to keep from despairing. That sounds depressing.. But it's so true. It's not easy to find a job these days. I started gardening and the first plants I tried were kale seeds. My mom had them and intended to grow kale last year but never got to it. I beat her to the punch and planted these little guys. And they grew! I'm really happy because I always thought of myself as a plant killer. Hopefully by doing my research, I'll have good results with the kale. I also planted some flower seeds: morning glories, forget-me-nots, bachelor's buttons, and oriental poppies. I'm a bit worried about the poppies. Some describe them to be like a weed although I guess they're picky? There were some reviews talking about how poppies can be difficult to grow in pots. Other reviews say they're easy to grow. We'll see. My other favorite hobby is cooking and baking. I made cream stew again last ...

A cake mom got for me ^^ It's been about a month and I'm super happy to say that I passed that NCLEX exam!! ***\(^ o ^)/*** Flowers from my sister.. (>w<) Once celebrations were over, reality soon kicked in and now I'm doing what most sane people hate doing..... Job hunting. Bleh I was so stressed about everything that happened: pressure to pass the NCLEX, the job hunt, anticipating buying a new place, hoping I won't be an unemployed sack of potatoes for too long withering away until not even my reputation can save me... All this stress seemed to implode within me and I ended up having what's called a stress rash . I admit, it kind of sucked although I won't complain much since I'm sure worse things could happen; I should be grateful that it was only an itchy rash on my torso and arms. Somehow, my face was spared. (o_O) Now it's been about half a month since I passed NCLEX and my stress rash seems to be going away. I started to drink ...

Hello again ( insider joke ). Yes, it has been another time skip. After finishing Mr. Robot season 2 and laying  around contemplating what to do with my life, I found another show to watch (American Horror Story season 6: My Roanoke Nightmare). It was also good and I had fun watching it with my mom. But it didn't meet the caliber of Mr. Robot. or even its own predecessors. I blame it on the bizarre platform for this season of AHS. It was too.. Blair Witch-y... (-__-) Let's just say the shaky cam made me dizzy and the story escalated too soon, leaving a somewhat dry finale. So after all that was over, I knew I had to pick up another show (because I have such a fascinating life to live!) and decided that it was time for another K-drama~! So, after watching some fan MV's on YouTube for inspiration, I decided to go with something unfamiliar. It's a historical drama called Moon Lovers: Scarlet Heart Ryeo . Yep, a mouthful. But it turned out to be better than I expected! ...

No ghost sightings tonight.. *Sigh...* Walking at night is a little scary. I usually don't walk at night, maybe at dusk but not at night. But, my neighborhood isn't too sketchy so I guess I let my guard down. :P It was breezy and cool, unlike the day. There are a lot of cool things I see at night that I could never see or hear in the day: the lady riding a bike with bright neon lights, the crickets singing their songs, the moon illuminated brightly in the sky.. The stars are nice too but there are too many lights in my neighborhood to get a good view of them. I'm rambling. Time to end this post. :P

I've been feeling more nervous about this semester of nursing school for some reason. I should be happy, ecstatic even. But I feel anxiety. I thought about this a lot while walking with Max and it occurred to me that, this is probably because this is a final chapter. I think of life being in chapters. There are the chapters of grade school, chapters of high school, chapters of a first job, etc. This happens to be a chapter of nursing school and it's going to be over in a little over a few months. It's kind of unreal, because it's played such a large part in my life. Even my classmates in nursing school, whether I like it or not, play a large part in this chapter. I personally like the changes of classmates in college classes and I didn't really like how we were essentially stuck with our 'cohort' for the entire two years of nursing school... But that's how it is. I always thought to myself, I wonder when I'll be able to be free of this class. And n...

Today I woke up pretty late... later than I wanted at least. For some reason, my body likes to wake up at around 11:30. OTZ  I even set my alarm for 7:30 and woke up at 7:00. Yet me being in my lazy summer mode, stayed in bed and ended up falling asleep. (>_<) So after I woke up, I did my hygiene routine like brushing my teeth, putting in my contacts, etc. I then proceeded to go downstairs for some breakfast, err, I mean lunch. There was no one home when I got up so I was free to make whatever food I wanted. Yah! xD (The thing in our family is that my grandma is on a strict diet and I feel awkward making food around her that she cannot eat. More often than not, she will ask for some. I am limited in when I can cook or bake because she usually cannot eat those foods. I know it's sad but that's just how it is.) Before I ate anything, I drank a full glass of water. I always do this because it helps to re-hydrate the body after a long sleep (especially for me, hehe)...

It's been about a couple of days since my Aunty left back for Hawaii. I miss her, though the feeling is not painful. We don't have any extended family where we live. So each time they visited us, I would always have that feeling of emptiness when they left. I would feel quite sad. But now, I don't feel that sadness. I actually have more of a bittersweet feeling. I vividly remember my feelings when I was little, how I would silently cry on the car ride home after family get together's because I wished we could always be together. Who knew my feelings would have so much more meaning because after we moved away, we would not be able to attend those gatherings anymore. Our fate of growing farther apart would be inevitable. I've grown accustomed to this feeling of loss. I try to look forward to the future. Instead of feeling like they've left us, I feel like they're just going home and we can look forward to their next visit or  my next visit to them. Life ...

It's been a damn long time since I've written a true, from the heart blog post. So, I'm going back to the traditional way: pencil and paper. Maybe the writing will flow better if I write out my blog post first in a rough draft and then type it out. I think I've been going through a lot of summer laziness. At the beginning of the summer after 3rd semester ended, I was so ambitious with plans of study schedules and aiming to make myself productive. But after my trip to Seoul, I just kind of lazed out. I don't have much of a desire to study during the summer (I mean, who does?). I try but it hasn't been working out too well. Inside, my mind is just done. It's literally telling me, "screw time tables!" I'm sure part of the problem is internet access, catching up on tons of TV shows/movies, and my recent purchase of FFXIII-2. (- . - ;;) Today was pretty chill. Grams went out on a senior excursion to a wildlife reserve and that left me to have th...

I would describe myself as a flower. I wither in the heat and cold. And this summer has been relentlessly hot. Too hot to go for a leisurely stroll outside. Temperatures regularly soar up and above 90 degrees almost everyday. We haven't had the forgiving rainstorms in the afternoons to dampen the heat either. It makes me worry about what global warming is doing. So I've been spending a ridiculous amount of time doing the Netflix and chill thing. Except with less Netflix and more streaming on the internet. I've almost finished both seasons of The Flash and this is within a few weeks time. (That's fast for me, no pun intended). I just don't want to go shopping all the damn time and besides the movies and a gross, crowded pool, there really isn't much to do besides watching TV or browsing the net. I also want to avoid skin damage at and avoid the heat. I had enough of that in Seoul. We were walking around outside in the peak heat of the day regularly. Peo...

A few months ago while I was busy studying my life away, I made a very interesting discovery. I don't know how I ended up downloading this app called Webtoons but I can only assume that I found it through the app called Line (which I was already using). So what are Webtoons? From what I learned, it is a "Korean manhwa that is published online." They are usually in color or a grayscale type of color and are read scrolling down instead of reading left to right (but there are some that are read this way).  Just an example (Cheese in the Trap, Ep. 0 - Prologue)... There is also an app called Webtoons which caters to English speakers. Some of the comics on there are created by non-Korean artists. Does this revoke the comic's manhwa title? You decide.  Many of the popular Korean comics are translated from a website called Naver and then uploaded onto Webtoons. Unfortunately, some of the official manhwa are very, very far behind in tran...

In our program, this semester is said to be the most difficult and stressful. I've been officially out of 3rd semester for two days since I finished finals. \(^0^)/ I've been trying to stay productive, making "To-Do" lists. It's been working pretty well so far. I'm in the process of making a summer study schedule and planning my trips, mainly to Korea with my dad and Hawaii (for a cousin's graduation party). I feel really fortunate to be able to go on these trips. Dad used to work for an airline so our family has had flight benefits all my life.  Although this semester has been difficult, I didn't feel its effects as harshly as some people did. I'm sure it's due to me not working and doing school at the same time.. My good friend in the class was doing 35 hours a week of work and school; She ended up failing mental health nursing...  After she didn't pass, another friend that I just started to get to know well ended up dropping out. The...

I'm about halfway through my winter break and having what I like to call a 'mid break crisis'. It starts off with me on my computer when I sneak a glance at my calendar. Seeing the inevitable doomsday of classes starting just a couple weeks away, it hits me. Have I been productive with my time? Omg, I haven't! D: D: D: I mean, I started off okay but then Aunty flew in on Christmas to visit so uh, preoccupied with humoring her.... What else do I really want to do before I go back to hell ...school?! I know a break is a time to relax, but I always seem to worry about relaxing too much and not spending any time with supplemental study and actual productivity. The curse of being an adult I suppose. Like the freak I am, I've been logging down all the movies, TV shows, manga, anime, and books I've been reading, watching, you name it. It most likely stems from my desire to make the most of my free time. Looks like I've rewatched 6 movies. I really need to f...

So much cooking today...! (~ - o -)~ Even though I only made two things. Every year, I cook something for Christmas and New Years. Usually the traditional Japanese dishes because well, I'm Japanese... and it's convenient since I already know how to make this stuff. I've posted what I cooked on Christmas before but almost always, it's chicken katsu and Christmas cake. A nicer Christmas cake/hot pot from (2014) Christmas cake (2014) At times I think I should be more spontaneous and make a different kind of Christmas cake besides the standard strawberry shortcake. But I'm too lazy to learn to perfect a new recipe...  That's pretty much all I did today. A lot of cooking. I don't think I left the house, wow.

It's been about a week into my winter break. Time goes by too fast... (T-T) I have tried my best to make the most of my time. So that means more reading, watching all the TV shows/movies/anime I want, supplemental studying, pampering my skin to the max, and cooking & baking for my family because that makes them happy! \(^o^)/ I've been having a really nice time though. It's so nice to not worry about studies and passing exams. I actually got through the first year of nursing school. Can you believe it? And this last semester was so challenging for me. I'm honestly a bit worried for next semester where we'll have two classes at the same time instead of just one. Although the last class we had, it was like two classes in one with OB/Peds being two completely different animals. OB is seriously a whole other world. One of the biggest things I experienced was seeing a baby being born and watching procedures in the OR. I'm trying to come up with some kind of s...