Tuesday, January 30, 2018

Insecurities about the past

I'll try to start from the beginning.

I didn't really want to write about anything too personal on this blog, even though I know that anyone in question probably wouldn't find it. But even so, a part of me still doesn't want to write. What if it ends up as something I don't wish to remember? ... I would probably delete these posts and erase the tangible memory. Since I haven't shared this blog with anyone who I would mind reading, I think it's okay to allow myself to indulge in writing my thoughts to no one in particular.

In the warm month of August 2017, I entered into a long distance relationship with a special person I've been writing to for roughly two years. We were essentially pen pals. The platform we used was a texting app yet our messages were as long as an email. It's quite amazing how far we've come, and how quickly our relationship has progressed. He is also my first serious relationship. All these emotions are very new to me.

The more I got to know him, the more of him I wanted to possess. It's a peculiar thing. In the beginning, I didn't really care about his past and who he had been with before me. I could casually brush it off as the past being in the past. But as I got to know him, as my love and affection grew, so did my insecurity and possessiveness.

We discussed this feeling I had. He was understanding, although I knew it bothered him. It bothered him because he did not think about his past nor did he wish to, as they were bad memories. He only wanted to focus on us and what we have now. It was one of our more difficult conversations. The issue seemed to be resolved, but I know that this is something only I can overcome. No validation from him will save me from these feelings I have. Because even though he gives me validation, the feeling continues to return. I don't want a vicious cycle of insecurity and seeking validation from him each time.

I still feel pain from it if even a hint of the past is brought up in that context. To give an example, recently he spoke to me about his conversation with his father, about how he made so many sacrifices before and they always fell through (in the context of things in his life and relationships). But he trusted that it would work with me, even if the sacrifice he was making for me (moving out of state) would be the biggest sacrifice he's ever made.

The average person would simply listen to what he said and feel happy that he was okay with his decision. But me being me, I just wanted to ask him what these 'sacrifices' were. I stopped myself though. It's times like this where I must stop myself and reflect on why I'm wanting to know this information. Why I'm bringing up his past again, making him recall things that I don't even want him to remember.

I have to analyze my questions and put them through a filter in my mind. If I don't, I'll be making him think about the past when that is exactly what I'm insecure about. That it's the exact thing I don't want him to do. A part of me may just have the desire to know more about him, it honestly could simply be that. But it's sad... although I want to know everything about him, there are some things that I probably shouldn't know. So I can't know everything about him. And I must learn to be content with that. 

There are times when I'm completely fine and free of any of those insecure thoughts. And then there are other times where it sneaks up on me insidiously, and I have to ward it off.

Why do I feel this way? I ruminate over this more than I should. This is such a new feeling and experience for me. It's as if I feel sad that there's a past I wasn't a part of. A part of him that I don't know, and probably shouldn't know. Yet as a couple gets deeper into a relationship, isn't it only natural that we want to know more and more about our partner?

I often wonder if I had met others before him, if I had my own history, would it matter as much to me as it does now? I try to imagine as best as I can. Sometimes I get close to an answer. In the end, I believe that I just lack that perspective and I will never have that perspective with him.

This must be the reality of dating someone after college... and after experiencing a small fraction of life outside of that. A person will undoubtedly have a history.

I've tried different approaches to coping. I've asked for wisdom from people at work and received great advice. I don't feel like I can confide in anyone close to me about this. It's too embarrassing and I don't think it's something they'll be able to help me with. It's nothing against my family. I know them well and it makes me realize that they won't have the answers I seek.

All of the solutions I've tried have been temporary, because I still feel the pangs of hurt in my heart, when and if this feeling bubbles up. It's gotten better over time, but it's still there and didn't magically go away. Perhaps time is the only thing that will help me get over this feeling.

Even if I could look into his mind and his heart, to feel his emotions, I'm still afraid to. I'm afraid that there may be something I don't wish to see. I believe there are definitely things that should be left unsaid and things that I shouldn't know because they don't pertain to me. Even asking him questions about his past, no matter how curious I am, makes me slightly scared. Scared because I don't want him to remember certain parts of his past, even when he tells me he never thinks about those things. I honestly want him to slowly forget about as much of it as possible over time. Until whatever memory he has is blurred and difficult to remember. Me asking him to recall things doesn't help with that.

I'm trying very, very hard to change my way of thinking. There was one piece of advice that I received and held onto. I think it could be just the thing that saves me. It's the fact that each person IS a different experience. So even if I wasn't a part of his past, we are creating a past. And anything that happens between us will be a new experience and a first for 'us'. And that's all that should matter.

I hope and strive to become stronger, feel more secure, trust in his words and feelings toward me, and stop trying to look back into a past that doesn't pertain to now. I want to be able to truly look only forward and not worry so much about the past.

Tuesday, July 11, 2017

Trying to catch up with life

There are those times in life where too many things are happening at once. Right now, I'm going through this (albeit, gracefully).

Here's some life events that I'm trying to navigate my way through. I'll list them below:

1. Dating
2. New job
3. Looking for an apartment / anticipating living on my own
4. Anticipating future online classes 

#1  I'll start with the first event. Dating. (-__-;;) I guess I'm at a point in my life where I feel like I should date to meet a future partner if I ever want to have one in this lifetime. I know, I know... this sounds dramatic but it's my thought process right now. I believe I've already spilled my guts about my 'relationship virgin' status so I won't get into that. I'm using online dating as a tool to meet people but it's pretty difficult. So far, I've lasted 5 dates with one person but it ended up dissolving. Currently, I'm chatting with a different guy from the dating app and I've decided that for now, I'm just going to chat with one guy at a time. I tried doing multiple chatting with different guys at first and it was a bit much.

I already don't like how online dating makes people more disposable, like items you shop for. So instead of always looking for greener pastures so to speak, I'm just going to try focusing on one person at a time. It just seems more genuine that way, especially if you're doing well texting with them. Perhaps I should try a phone chat too before meeting in person..

I don't think most people really understand how difficult it is for someone very introverted to date. I know my coworkers and friends mean well when they tell me to just "go out there and meet people." I'm seriously hesitant to believe that will work for me because I'm just that awkward when it boils down to flirting and hinting that I'm interested. And activities I like to do? Only WOMEN would be interested in those activities! I try to think of "going out" activities and most of those involve me reading a book in the library, visiting a cute cafe, or shopping at a clothing or department store. D: Other more exciting activities would lack authenticity if I did them as I don't enjoy them.

#2  As for the new job, it's been about 3 months since I started. Orientation ended a couple weeks ago and I was plunged into the world of being an independent nurse. It hasn't been so bad. I feel as if I'm being babied with the low number of patients I start off with in the morning (approximately 3). But it doesn't really matter. Whatever they want to do, they can do. I'm just happy I don't feel like I'm drowning. My job also has a lot of supplemental education, not only the online content but also quizzes at work and classes to attend. (T_T) It's nice that they give us education but it sure seems like a lot when starting out. And to top it off, meetings and being a part of a mandatory committee. I'm still unsure of what being part of a committee entails but I'm sure I'll find out eventually. The silver lining through all of this is the fact that I 'usually' have 4 days of the week to my leisure.

#3  Looking for an apartment has actually proven to be kind of a fun activity for me. I like looking at the different floor plans and how the prices change over time. It's the reality of living on my own scares me. I have this ideal fantasy about how it will be but in reality, I don't exactly know what to expect. I'm hoping that I'll at least be able to keep my shit together.

#4  The online class thing is just something that I have to get done. Once I get into a routine, I'm sure it won't be so bad. It's more anticipation than anything else.

Reviewing the amount of text I've written for each event, whatever I listed appears to be in the correct order of most stressful to least stressful. Why does dating have to be so stressful? At this point in my life, I think it's the idea of never having the relationship experience more than anything. I'll have to have the experience to think any further than that.

Thursday, June 1, 2017

Dating makes me T I R E D

It's been about half a month of dating escapades. Specifically, online dating. I honestly don't see much of a difference once things go offline unless the couple was friends before or something. I'm fortunate to have not encountered any obvious pervs or creepos thus far.

But I get sooooooo worn out from dating. Mentally.

Let me give an example.

I've been on about 3 dates so far with one guy. He is nice, friendly, and polite but as I get to know him more with each passing date, I also get more anxious about his intentions and if we even have that magical connection everyone keeps talking about. So many questions plague my mind after these dates.

Should I keep seeing him? Why does he check his phone so often? (Note: I found out the answer to this question on date #2). Who is supposed to be paying on these dates? If he lets me split the bill, does that indicate that he only sees me as a friend? Since he asked ME out somewhere, does this mean he should be paying? Should I be dating a guy who isn't at a stable point in his life yet? Is he a psychopath? 😱

I guess this is the reality of people dating others out of college/school years. There's so much more sh*t to factor into a person. Even if you happened to 'connect', there's always another thing you would have to consider such as if they have a decent job or if they have similar values to your own about life.

Online dating also makes everything more disposable because there are so many options and possibilities. If you don't like a person, you can just cut it off and date someone else, right? It's harsh, but that seems to be the reality of online dating.

The last date I went on was a hike, lunch, and a walk around a festival nearby. It was nice but the weather was hot so that probably drained me even more. When I got home, I literally just took a shower and went to bed. And luckily the next day, I was off so I slept in and then ruminated for half the day about a few of the questions mentioned above. Mostly about who should be paying on dates and if a guy accepts my offer to split the bill, does this mean he sees me in a more platonic way.

This all probably sounds silly but this is from my own personal values about how I approach dating. It's also frustrating because it's not socially acceptable to be talking about financial aspects of the relationship in the initial phase of dating. I can't even communicate my concerns to the other person when I want to without appearing strange and awkward.

It's definitely in my personality to overthink and analyze every detail in a situation. My emotional memory is actually quite excellent if what happened was significant enough. If I had an unpleasant experience with another person, I would remember almost everything that was said up to the little details of their facial expressions in each moment.

This is an irritating part of my personality that I can't get rid of. I hate over analyzing. It's like a switch that I can't turn off.

Wednesday, April 19, 2017

What I've been up to...

Omg, so I joined... a dating app! 😖 I'm surprised at myself. Conservative me? No way! I made a profile keeping it as private as I could and answered most of the 'questions'. I've been putting this off for so long and I finally said, f*ck it. I'm doing this NOW! This is one of those things that I always thought about doing because if I don't put myself out there and wait for fate to kick in (if it ever does), nothing may ever happen. I've decided to put dating into my own hands and see what I can find.

I don't talk about my dating life at all because I've never had one. I went through high school with minimal interaction with the opposite sex and went through college in a similar fashion. Maybe it's because I wasn't in a university setting and didn't dorm. I don't know. The only thing I know is that I never got that experience and it's a little awkward to talk about it because it probably sounds so bizarre to people. I think that dating either happens for you early in life or it doesn't. I don't know how the universe decides upon that but I'm sure being an introvert didn't help me in the dating department. I can't say that I've never gotten the opportunity because I have; I just wasn't interested in the guys who asked me out or who seemed interested in me. I don't think it's right to loosely date someone I'm not interested in and I don't know if I'll ever think otherwise. I honestly believe that there should be at least some physical attraction when it comes to dating someone.

On my first day of creating my profile, I had about one creep and many others who just didn't physically attract me at all. I didn't reply to them. I feel bad about it but there are so many and I don't want to deal with guys who can't handle rejection. I also looked up 'online dating etiquette' (yeah, that's a thing, lol) to make sure I was doing the right thing by not responding to every single message. The 'creep' I was talking about apparently had no patience because merely a few hours after not responding to him, he sent an inappropriate message. 😑💧 Now that I think about it, that's a really great way to weed out poor choice guys from good ones. It's not a good sign if a guy can't handle rejection. I even look through some profiles and see if I believe there will be any compatibility so it's not always about looks only. The creepo was a person who I thought I probably wouldn't be able to keep up with in terms of their activities and interests.

Besides my huge choice of joining that app, I didn't do much today besides getting my blood drawn. We have incentives at work for having biometric screenings, physical check ups, and participating in health conscious activities. I think it's a good way to motivate people to take care of their health. Money is a strong motivator.

I wanted to blog several weeks ago but never got to it since I my orientation started and the busyness hit me like a whirlwind. I had a nice dinner out with my mom. We went to Panda Express and it was quite good. I had this chicken entree.

I like the design of the cups. It's very cute and suits my tastes perfectly. ^^ I may start bringing my own waterbottle to these kinds of eateries though. I can save more paper cups that way. :3

Monday, March 20, 2017

Online Friends: the complexity of messaging

NOTE: When I say 'online friends', I mean friends you met and converse with primarily online opposed to in person.

And once again, I've created another long ass essay on a first world problem! 😊👍

I've had only a handful of online friends over the past decade. (I feel so old when I say that.. lol). I exchanged emails with one of them for maybe 10 years now.. One of the things that I really struggled with and still struggle with today is message response time. How long should it take this person to respond to you? How long should it take you to respond to them? Should you respond to them in the same amount of time it took them to respond to you? My brain hurts... 😱

I honestly believe that the 'rules' of texting-and-email-etiquette for dating and friends you see on a daily basis doesn't quite transfer well into the realm of penpals and online friends. This is because you've never met this online friend in person, or maybe you did meet them but only a few times and you don't see them frequently. It's a reflection of the saying, "out of sight, out of mind."

In my experience, when I emailed with a friend I met online (the one I've corresponded with the longest), we would send long, essay-like emails to each other. It would take 1-3 months for a response. You could say we were penpals. I think we somehow came to a mutual understanding of the response time. We would generally apologize for taking so long to respond and would never pry for answers as to why the response took so long. The principle I formed at the time was that however long it took her to respond to me would be the minimum amount of time I would take to respond to her. We still responded at our own pace though and it was never quite exact. This principle worked well with her because:

1. She's the type of person who takes a while to respond. And..
2. Our emails were very long and we both liked to create thoughtful responses

We lost contact for a while because of the site's updates, but eventually found a way to talk with each other again. Along with emailing directly, we decided to use a texting app because it allowed us to keep our anonymity (we had not met in person before). With the new texting ability came new concerns. Since the messages are so much shorter, how long should we take to respond? These are thoughts I still have. But I use the principle I stated above: however long it takes them to respond to me, is the general amount of time I have to respond to them. We all have our egos. I think most people wouldn't want to appear desperate by being the only person responding promptly.

The principle of equal responding time doesn't work in some cases though. I've had an online friend on the other end of the spectrum who responded too quickly. Yes, responding too fast is a thing. And it's unnerving (at least in the case of online friends, especially ones you don't know too well). I mean, besides someone like your best friend/s, SO, or family, would you feel creeped out if someone texted you almost everyday? I would.

This friend was on my texting app and they would respond quite fast, within an hour or two or a day. You would think that I would be super happy about this but it just made me feel uncomfortable. I felt especially uncomfortable when I wouldn't respond right away and then they would continuously send messages asking if I was okay or to have a nice day. I'm sorry if this sounds terrible but I felt like I was being suffocated. Maybe it's because I didn't know this person too well, or maybe it's because I'm conditioned to expect even a short message to take 1-2 weeks from an online friend.

The moral of this story is that there are all kinds of online friends. How you handle it is going to depend on what kind of online friend you have. There will be some who take forever to respond but have really good responses. There will be some that just seem needy (I think these kinds of online friends are best kept off your smartphone). And there will be everything in between.

I think the best way to deal with it is to not take things too personally, especially with online friends who take a while to respond. Of course, this will also depend on the quality of their responses to you.

My reasoning for this is because of some things I learned about friendships:

  • No friendship is perfect. If you expect too much from your friend and cut them off because they don't fit an ideal you have of the perfect friend, you might end up with no friends at all.
  • People are busy in life. Yeah, realistically a person will make time to respond to you if they really want to. But everyone has different priorities. Plus, this is an online friend you don't see in person. Out of sight, out of mind. 
  • We can only control our own actions. We can't control how quickly someone responds to a message let alone what they do in their life. Lets not take things personally and just focus on our own actions.

The only valid tip I have is for the online friend who has good responses to messages but a long response time (a week or more for texts and 1-3 months for emails). This will also depend on how long you're personally willing to wait for responses.

My solution is pretty much an eye for an eye.

However long it takes them to respond to you is the minimum amount of time you will take to respond to them. 

This is only if you're still willing to correspond with them and you don't want to seem desperate or needy.

I've seen some common questions about 'instant messaging etiquette'. Here are my personal answers to these questions for specifically, online friends:

1. Why are they taking so long to respond to me? Am I unimportant to them? 

(Possibly the most popular question of all in the world of texting and messaging.)

The short answer to this question is yes, they don't care about you enough to respond in a time frame you deem appropriate. They're 'busy' and have so many more important things to do in their life. If they really cared, they would make time to respond to you. Most people always have their phone with them and are texting anyway! No excuses!!! 😡💢

Here's my answer based on my experience with an online friend who takes a long time to respond.

I wouldn't say you're unimportant or that they don't care about you at all. You're just not at the top of their priority list. Online friends are not people you see on a day to day basis. People have their families, friends offline, coworkers, acquaintances, and many other people they may be talking with on various social medias. Besides f*cking Facebook, can you imagine how many other social media sites they're on? There are a lot. I'm not proud to say it but I've joined social media sites, made friends, and then just stopped using the site after finding a new social media that I liked more or just forgetting about the site altogether. After my experience with that, I realized how easy it could be for an online friend to cease contact.

Now, going back to my online friend. We've been chatting for about 10 years, despite taking a long time to respond to one another. I think this fact alone states that we do care and we have a mutual understanding that each of us have our own lives offline. We can't be the center of the universe to one another. 

I also believe that some people want to have a certain amount of control over their life. They don't want to feel as if their life is dictated by how promptly they can respond to a message sent by an online friend. I think that deep down, this is why I was so bothered by that other online friend who responded too quickly. I felt as if they were taking over my life; I would always be expecting their responses and then I felt the need to respond back just as promptly to be polite. It was super creepy that they were on my mind that much and it almost felt like that was their intention for messaging all the time. My theory is that everyone has a certain range of time between responding to a message where they feel in control of their life and comfortable.

Both the time it takes someone to respond to a message and the content of the responses send a psychological message to the receiver. If a person responds too quickly (in the receiver's perspective), they could come off as needy, creepy, and dependent. If a person takes a long time to respond (in the receiver's perspective), they could come off as uncaring and rude.  

As you can see, there is no perfect solution to this problem because everyone has different perceptions of what the appropriate response time is. 

Not everyone can accept a person taking so long to respond to text messages or emails. In this case, sadly to say you may have to cut ties with this online friend. If it truly bothers you, there really isn't much you can do about it. We can't control the other person's actions, only our own.

If you have a situation similar to mine with an online friend you really connect with but they take a while to respond, you can do what I do and respond in a similar amount of time they take to respond to you. Personally, I think that's appropriate. There are some exceptions like if they took much longer than their usual response time and mentioned why it took so long. But that would be for you to judge. I would also suggest finding new hobbies and activities to do to keep yourself occupied. If you're starting to feel insecure about yourself because of their response time, then it's time for you to focus on your own life and find things to keep yourself busy.

2. I always send thoughtful messages and emails but their responses always revolve around them and their problems. They never acknowledge my messages. What should I do?

This one also goes back to our lack of control over the other person's actions.

I have a friend offline who sometimes has these tendencies. I think there are some people in this world who are really cool to hang with offline but if you want to text or email them, they really suck at it. So it's not exactly fair to simply label this person as the scum of the Earth.

With online friends, this is more difficult as you don't see them in person. You can't just walk up to them and talk with them directly. Over 50% of communication is conveyed through body language. We don't get that in online messaging or texts. Due to these unfortunate circumstances, if you really can't stand them doing this, it's best to either bring it up to them in a polite way (although you could risk appearing uptight, overly sensitive, and needy depending on your expectations), or to cut ties with this person.

I think the resolution of this will depend on how effectively you bring up the issue and how understanding your friend is. If you two are in sync and truly have a mutual understanding and respect of one another, then this problem could be resolved through the direct approach. My advice is to keep most of your emotions out of your message when addressing the issue. Focus more on how their responses made you feel. Keep as much emotional charge out of your message as possible. Have clear goal in mind when writing to this person about your problem with them. What kind of outcome do you want? Try to make that clear to them and try to make it reasonable.  

3. My friend never congratulates me on things and often just responds with "yay..." They also commonly use "yea..." as a response to other things. WTF does this mean? 

I personally get annoyed with people who respond this way and don't have the common sense to at least give a simple phrase of "congrats!" to a friend who made a significant accomplishment.

I've never really had this issue with close online friends but I've had this problem with a friend offline through texting. It was pretty weird because instead of a simple "congrats," they would say "yay..." You can imagine what I thought about that. 😑 It's difficult to know what the person is truly thinking based on a simple text message. I eventually got confirmation that they were happy for me once when they stated, "I'm really happy you got the job." I don't think she truly didn't care or wasn't happy for me. Although, if she didn't make that last statement, it would be quite difficult for me to believe she cared.

Again, with online friends, this answer is skewed since you may not be able to ask your friend in person (which is almost always the best mode of communication). You could always just ask them through texting/messaging if they continually do this (though you may risk coming off as 'overly sensitive'). But sometimes the person might not be aware of how their responses affect you and may just really, really suck at messaging.  Adding in some emoji's may help. ^^

I think that at times, it's much better to address certain problems directly instead of fume in silence. This will be based on individual preferences and how well you know the person. What you do will strongly depend on what you're willing to put up with and what you won't.

I hope this essay was informative and perhaps helped you with your online messaging woes.  💗

Wednesday, March 1, 2017

The benefits of journaling

I learned a very valuable lesson today. Journaling has more benefits than I thought!

Today, I went to my first nurse interview. I got help from my mom since she sent a referral for me. I don't know if I could have gotten this opportunity to interview without her. Thanks mom! 💖💖💖

The first few questions of the interview were pretty easy because they were common questions like:
  • Why do you want to work here?
  • Tell me about yourself
  • Where did you have your clinicals?
Easy peasy.

The second part of the interview consisted of the harder questions and the interviewers told me so. Yippee! I'm so happy I'm aware of the difficult questions to come! Thanks!!! 😀 *That was sarcasm btw*

Most of the questions were about my clinical experiences and what I did in certain situations. This part was difficult for me not necessarily because of the questions, but because I had to recall clinical experiences that I barely remembered. The entire time I was thinking, "OMG, how am I gonna bullsh*t an answer if I don't have an experience I can think of? What will happen if I can't answer this question and have a long, awkward pause?!!"

Which now brings me to my main point. Journaling.

Journaling saved my ass in this situation because I was able to pull some good experiences from the short summaries I wrote during my clinical at a rehabilitation hospital.

I remember them asking me a question about a time when I had a patient in pain with an underlying condition. Somehow, I had the perfect answer to this question and I'm sure I aced it. Why did I have the perfect answer? Because I had journaled this significant experience.

I think that journaling not only helps a person reflect and make goals to improve, but they also reinforce the memory of a situation. This is particularly useful if a person needs to recall certain information like during an interview or if they're teaching someone and trying to give an example.

This piece of information can apply to all occupations, not just nursing. One of the best ways to prepare for future interviews is to journal significant work experiences throughout your career. This way, you'll have great answers for many types of interview questions.

Friday, February 17, 2017

Absorbed in my hobbies

Baby kale sprouts
As my job hunt continues, I need things to focus on to keep from despairing. That sounds depressing.. But it's so true. It's not easy to find a job these days.

I started gardening and the first plants I tried were kale seeds. My mom had them and intended to grow kale last year but never got to it. I beat her to the punch and planted these little guys. And they grew! I'm really happy because I always thought of myself as a plant killer. Hopefully by doing my research, I'll have good results with the kale.

I also planted some flower seeds: morning glories, forget-me-nots, bachelor's buttons, and oriental poppies. I'm a bit worried about the poppies. Some describe them to be like a weed although I guess they're picky? There were some reviews talking about how poppies can be difficult to grow in pots. Other reviews say they're easy to grow. We'll see.

My other favorite hobby is cooking and baking. I made cream stew again last week. It turned out very good! I'm glad that anime recipe is still working well.

A few days later, I used my vegan chocolate cake recipe to make some chocolate muffins. I saw someone on a youtube video eating one and it looked so delicious! I had to make some myself. The ones I buy at the store are a bit too sweet for my liking.

I've been eating out more often (with the fam). I took some food pics. Yeah, I'm one of those Asian girls that likes to take pictures of food I eat when I'm out. :P  I also baked chocolate cookies (I bake these a lot) but since it's so common, I didn't take a pretty picture. Maybe next time!

Kale pizza from a 'natural food' restaurant. The pizza had good flavor but the crust was somewhat wet...

The restaurant had these long tables and running across it was a cute succulent display. It was fake though. :(

We went to that same restaurant on a different day with my mom's friend and I got a half basil chicken sandwich. I'm glad I got the half. This was perfect for me!The bread was slightly too toasted but it was still yummy.

I went with my mom and sister to a local Vietnamese restaurant. I had the beef pho and it was delicious as usual. The vegetables they provide are always very fresh and the food is served piping hot.

The new server there is super nice and accommodating. He's probably the best waiter I've ever had at a Vietnamese restaurant. I speculate he might be new to English (not sure, just a guess!) but it doesn't interfere with his work. I really respect him for his diligence. My sister kinda stopped drinking her water after a while though because he has this thing where if our water goes down maybe an inch, he would stop by to refill it right away! lol It gets a little awkward since we're not used to being doted on so much by our server.

Sorry, not a pretty picture. I was too impatient.
This is the bibimbap I had last night. Just one day after having pho, my dad wanted to go out to eat (he was kind of stressed/mad at my grandma) so I went with him. We chose a K-BBQ restaurant because I mentioned before that I wanted bibimbap. I'm sad to say that our experience there with our servers was the polar opposite of what I got from the Vietnamese restaurant. If you want to read my rant about that place, you can find it here or just read the post prior to this one. ;)

Right now, we're dog sitting again. I'm really happy; I love dogs and the two little guys are super cute!

This one is super soft. Softer than the softest plush doll.. x3 He likes to spend time in my brother's room so unfortunately, I don't see him as often as I would like.

My mom and I do the most work in taking care of the dogs. She usually feeds them breakfast and I feed them lunch/snacks/dinner. I probably take them for more walks too, just because... you know, my unemployed bum status. 

I took Scruffs for a walk before the two dogs came over. I think he was happy. It was a nice day for a walk and I finally took him on the trail he wanted to see.

The weather has been so beautiful and warm these days. I'm actually missing my cozy snowy weather. It's strange that I haven't seen it at all this February.