Wednesday, January 13, 2016

Cringe moments where I need an intervention


If anyone else has watched danisnotonfire's youtube video of cringe attacks, *high fives*.

I have these moments a bit too often for my taste. Probably because I don't have enough to keep my mind occupied. Bad memories (usually where I made a fool of myself) from the past creep up on me all too often.

Like today, this moment from last semester in school re-surfaced where... okay not even going to talk about it or else I'll keep thinking about this forever. (-__-) The gist of it is that I just shouldn't care about what people think of me and instead put my best face forward. I worry too much about what others think of me. Period. And for some reason, it's always worse in a work or school setting. Social settings? Meh. But work and school are the killers.

Now this is where the intervention should set in. There are so many times where I wish that I could have an existential crisis when I get my 'cringe attacks'. I mean, wouldn't it be so great if every time we had a bad memory re-surface that won't leave us alone, instead we question our existence in the world and think about what small and insignificant tiny dust particles we are?

Brilliant.

Monday, January 4, 2016

Mid break crisis

I'm about halfway through my winter break and having what I like to call a 'mid break crisis'.

It starts off with me on my computer when I sneak a glance at my calendar. Seeing the inevitable doomsday of classes starting just a couple weeks away, it hits me. Have I been productive with my time? Omg, I haven't! D: D: D: I mean, I started off okay but then Aunty flew in on Christmas to visit so uh, preoccupied with humoring her.... What else do I really want to do before I go back to hell...school?!

I know a break is a time to relax, but I always seem to worry about relaxing too much and not spending any time with supplemental study and actual productivity. The curse of being an adult I suppose.

Like the freak I am, I've been logging down all the movies, TV shows, manga, anime, and books I've been reading, watching, you name it. It most likely stems from my desire to make the most of my free time.

Looks like I've rewatched 6 movies. I really need to find new things to watch. (-__-) First world problems anyone?

Aunty flew back to Honolulu yesterday so I was in a short period (approx. 1 day) of mourning. We don't have any extended family living nearby so I always treasure the time I have with relatives who visit. During my period of said mourning, I baked cookies and laid around watching movies or playing on my phone. A very sad time indeed, but at least my family got some chocolate chip cookies out of it. I'm happy to say that I baked a whole bunch of Chinese almond and chocolate chip cookies for my Aunty to take back home with her. She loves homemade cookies.

I didn't have much time to grieve the 'departure' of my dear Aunty because the very next day, my mom's friend's two little doggies came over and we'll be dog-sitting them for the next 10 days. It's okay though. They're both cute and easy to care for because they're so small. ^^

Tomorrow I'll be taking Grams to the library to get some books. Finally, a sense of purpose in my life.

I've got to do a purge, cleanse... whatever you want to call it. My diet has been shit for the past couple of weeks, largely due to 'vacation-mode host syndrome' where you have a guest in your home and always aim to please by ordering takeout or eating out or cooking delicious & not so healthy foods practically every day.

That means lots of green tea, kale, and fruits for me.

My idea of healthy

I think I'll probably start a study regimen of doing some NCLEX practice questions. I tried doing the Nursing Quiz Up game but I always seem to get sidetracked and play quizzes on non-study material *cough* Memes *cough*.