Sunday, December 18, 2016

Palty Marshmallow Ash Experience


I've heard a lot of negative reviews on this hair dye. My experience with it wasn't exactly bad although I can't say it was perfect either. I'll tell you what I did to achieve the end result of my current hair color.

With most lighter colors of Japanese hair dye, Asians have to bleach their hair first if they want anything close to the model's hair color. It's a necessary evil.

I purchased all of the Palty hair dyes from Amazon.com and they all came with instructions that were in English.

About a few weeks ago, I used this Palty Natural Blonde hair dye to color my virgin Asian hair. I wasn't thinking about dyeing my hair an Ash color at the time and just wanted something different.
 

My hair color didn't change very much. But it did seem to lighten to the color indicated on the box.


After this, I started to make a plan of what color I really wanted to dye my hair (this is what I should have done in the first place...).

I decided that I was gonna go for it and bleach my whole head. I've bleached before but it was only the ends of my hair for an ombre. I didn't bleach my hair until after a week from my previous hair dyeing.


I used Palty Mecha Flash Bleach to dye my hair. Since I have hair past my shoulders, I decided to buy two boxes of this (and I'm glad I did), because Palty is stingy and they don't give much hair dye. (=__=)


Here's the famous "Asian Orange" color you get after bleaching your hair. I wasn't alarmed because this is expected and takes several treatments before you can get that pale blonde color. And it's super damaging... I made sure not to leave this on any longer than the instructions stated. 30 minutes max! I also had sample hair sitting on the side. I left the dye on that for over 30 min and it didn't change the hair color any more. The bleaching process was an interesting sensation; my head felt quite warm while the bleach was on. Must be all the chemical reactions... My hair did not feel damaged after using this bleach for the first time. I was surprised by this because bleach is soooo damaging in general.

I got stuck with this hair color for a few days because the Marshmallow Ash hair dye was taking longer than expected to arrive. I made the most of it and it helped to wear a beanie. :3

Heyoo~! Btw, there is a filter over this photo, my hair wasn't this orange. ;)
Finally, it was time to dye my hair with the Ash color. I never attempted this before so I was very excited! I only left the hair dye on for 20 min. I heard warnings from others online that if you leave it on longer, your hair color could turn out darker!

The foam hair dye was a really neat experience. It was easy to apply. I had to be careful not to grab too much of the foam because it would drop on the floor. I have a tendency to apply hair dye as fast as I can so I don't throw off the time my hair is dyeing. It's weird logic, I know..

After doing this, I think that maybe I could have left the hair dye on longer without any adverse effects; when I rinsed out my hair, the hair dye seemed to be rinsing out too.. There was a lot of purple in the water and it took a long time until it ran clear. Just to warn you, my hair felt SUPER dry after dyeing it this time around. It was especially apparent while rinsing. I made sure to deep condition it afterward.


This was the immediate result after dyeing. It looks slightly greenish. This is from indoor overhead lighting at night. I can't say how accurate this is.


Here's a shot from the day after... This was in natural daylight. Woo hoo! No more orange~!


And this is from two days after dyeing. This is also in natural daylight. You can see that the color has faded somewhat. Thankfully, it's still not as orange as it was when I first bleached it. I like to believe that it reflects the color result of the Marshmallow Ash after holding up the color guide to my head.

Marshmallow Ash color guide
According to the color guide, if you want to get the color of the model, you would have to have a darker, copper red tone to your hair prior to dyeing it.... ironically, just like the color I had before bleaching. But I still think it contraindicates what's recommended for someone with Asian hair to obtain the model's hair color (especially due to the high volume of complaints about this not really doing anything to hair that wasn't lightened prior to dyeing). This hair dye will most likely fade over time and even if it did get to the color of the model's hair, it would not be permanent.

After this experience, I realize that the ashy, cool toned hair is difficult to achieve on your own if you have Asian hair. This is mostly because of how tricky it is to get the result of ash color and that the ash tones may fade out over time, requiring maintenance. I'll have to keep experimenting to see if I can figure it out. I'm still too cheap to go to a salon.

I'm content with the results. This hair dye did what it claimed to do to my hair color. I'm just a little worried that the color could possibly fade back to that icky orange.

I've dyed my hair several times with Palty and I always end up feeling like the results are not so different. It's difficult to discern between Japanese hair dyes because they're all just different shades of brown. It's not always super obvious when there are any differences (especially with browns), in my opinion.

All the hair dyes I used for end result (in order from left to right) and disclaimer: I did not use all these in one day.
NOTE: Also, please don't take this as me saying you have to use all of these hair dyes to achieve the Marshmallow Ash color. I only used the Palty Natural Blonde first because I wanted a change. Only after using that did I decide I wanted to try an ash color. You might get even better results if you just bleach virgin Asian hair and then dye with Marshmallow Ash.

It's so much more obvious when placed side by side. :D


Saturday, November 26, 2016

Current happenings

Hello again (insider joke). Yes, it has been another time skip. After finishing Mr. Robot season 2 and laying 
around contemplating what to do with my life, I found another show to watch (American Horror Story season 6: My Roanoke Nightmare). It was also good and I had fun watching it with my mom. But it didn't meet the caliber of Mr. Robot. or even its own predecessors. I blame it on the bizarre platform for this season of AHS. It was too.. Blair Witch-y... (-__-) Let's just say the shaky cam made me dizzy and the story escalated too soon, leaving a somewhat dry finale.
So after all that was over, I knew I had to pick up another show (because I have such a fascinating life to live!) and decided that it was time for another K-drama~! So, after watching some fan MV's on YouTube for inspiration, I decided to go with something unfamiliar. It's a historical drama called Moon Lovers: Scarlet Heart Ryeo. Yep, a mouthful. But it turned out to be better than I expected!
This looks like a harem drama but really, it isn't.
One of the things I love about Moon Lovers is that it doesn't drag on in the beginning and gets the girl to the past ASAP. I always hate it when a protagonist (who time jumps) has their sad, sad backstory delivered at an agonizingly slow pace. Honestly, I don't care! Just go back in time and meet your future soul mate!
This K-drama has the Beauty and the Beast theme going for it with Wang So and his scarred face. 
Characters in the show make a big deal about it. But really? He's hot, and basically the Flower Boy Representative of Korea so no worries man!
I promise I'll talk more about this drama in a separate post. I have quite a few opinions to get off my chest. And only 2 more episodes to go!




Aside from my obsession with Moon Lovers, I've been a slave to my RN portfolio. We're supposed to have one created before we finish the nursing program (aka, we get graded for it). I haven't really mentioned this but I'LL BE FINISHED WITH NURSING SCHOOL IN ONLY 2 WEEKS-!!!!!
8686868686
Thank you, thank you, yeah, I survived! So back to this portfolio. I guess nowadays, like people in the creative field, nurses are also required to present portfolios with educational and professional work included. It's getting more and more competitive each day.. 

This has actually been a fun experience though. I guess it's because I like doing projects and creating things. It makes me feel accomplished. :D

Note: I blocked out my name (for privacy reasons!). It actually looks mediocre without it but you get the idea. 
I've been spending countless hours on this beast. I've also been steadily working on Kaplan NCLEX practice questions (about 25-50 a day). We have this "NCLEX Certification" monster of an exam to anticipate after graduation. I think I'll probably make a post about how I'm studying for NCLEX, just for reference in case future students want some ideas for NCLEX prep. Haha, a good game would be to take a shot for each time I say NCLEX. I'm so grateful to the nurses who posted their experiences with NCLEX and how they studied for it. 

That's really all that's been happening so far. I have my study schedule and I've officially completed my final touches on thank you gifts for instructors. I went with baked cookies and thank you cards. :3 It was hard work but at least it only lasted for a couple of days. 

Night Walk

No ghost sightings tonight.. *Sigh...*

Walking at night is a little scary. I usually don't walk at night, maybe at dusk but not at night. But, my neighborhood isn't too sketchy so I guess I let my guard down. :P

It was breezy and cool, unlike the day. There are a lot of cool things I see at night that I could never see or hear in the day: the lady riding a bike with bright neon lights, the crickets singing their songs, the moon illuminated brightly in the sky.. The stars are nice too but there are too many lights in my neighborhood to get a good view of them.

I'm rambling. Time to end this post. :P

Sunday, August 28, 2016

Final chapters

I've been feeling more nervous about this semester of nursing school for some reason. I should be happy, ecstatic even. But I feel anxiety. I thought about this a lot while walking with Max and it occurred to me that, this is probably because this is a final chapter. I think of life being in chapters. There are the chapters of grade school, chapters of high school, chapters of a first job, etc. This happens to be a chapter of nursing school and it's going to be over in a little over a few months. It's kind of unreal, because it's played such a large part in my life.

Even my classmates in nursing school, whether I like it or not, play a large part in this chapter. I personally like the changes of classmates in college classes and I didn't really like how we were essentially stuck with our 'cohort' for the entire two years of nursing school... But that's how it is. I always thought to myself, I wonder when I'll be able to be free of this class. And now that it's happening soon, I'm just feeling anxious. It's a bit infuriating. I should be happy, but I'm not.. exactly. At least not right now at the beginning of this semester.

I think I'm anxious and feeling nervous because there will be an unknown after this. During nursing school, I always knew that I would be continuing with another semester. But after this, there are no semesters. It's job hunting from here and getting out there into the real world. I know this is an exciting thing, but it also makes me scared. I'm sure that once I get out there, it will be different. My fears will decrease because I'll vanquish the unknown. I'll get used to it, I'm sure. I just hope that I get over this anxious feeling soon. I've got a lot of planning and studying to focus on. (>_<)

Friday, August 19, 2016

Daily Blog 1


Today I woke up pretty late... later than I wanted at least. For some reason, my body likes to wake up at around 11:30. OTZ  I even set my alarm for 7:30 and woke up at 7:00. Yet me being in my lazy summer mode, stayed in bed and ended up falling asleep. (>_<)

So after I woke up, I did my hygiene routine like brushing my teeth, putting in my contacts, etc.

I then proceeded to go downstairs for some breakfast, err, I mean lunch. There was no one home when I got up so I was free to make whatever food I wanted. Yah! xD
(The thing in our family is that my grandma is on a strict diet and I feel awkward making food around her that she cannot eat. More often than not, she will ask for some. I am limited in when I can cook or bake because she usually cannot eat those foods. I know it's sad but that's just how it is.)

Before I ate anything, I drank a full glass of water. I always do this because it helps to re-hydrate the body after a long sleep (especially for me, hehe) and boost metabolism. It also helps with weight loss in the long term because the stomach is filled with water and not as much food is eaten.

After that, I got some eggs out of the fridge and put them in a pot. I filled it with water and set it on the stove to boil. When I boil eggs, I get them to boil first and once they are boiling, I put the cover on the pot, shut off the stove, and start the timer for 12 minutes. Once 12 minutes are up, I remove the eggs and place them in ice water so they are easier to peel. :)

While the eggs were boiling, I got some oatmeal, added water, and placed the bowl in the microwave for 2 minutes.

We had no rice left from yesterday, even though I cooked it just 2 days ago... I had to make more. I made three cups of brown rice

I cut up two apples for some fiber.

I finished preparing food so it was finally time for me to eat my lunch! I ate my oatmeal, some toast, a boiled egg, and a slice of pound cake. I'm aware that the pound cake is a little out of place. I had also cut up the pound cake into neat little slices because no one wanted to slice a piece before eating. (=__=) I seemed to not have enough self control so I ate the ugly slice that was on the end of the pound cake loaf, lol.

While eating my lunch, I watched some youtube. I tend to do this when I am eating by myself. I really love watching Rafirafee's videos these days so I was watching one of her monthly favorite videos. 

Max was playing outside during this time. It was warm and sunny. I poured some dog food for him after eating.

Once lunch was finished, I went back upstairs to make my bed. This is a habit that I have been building since the beginning of this past year. I like it when my bed is neat and comfortable all day.

For the next couple of hours, surprisingly, I didn't watch any TV shows! I let Max in the backyard when he wanted to go out and brought him back in the house when he was tired of playing. I finished writing a blog post I started last week. It was more of a productive early afternoon.

My Mom and Grams got home at around 14:00. I'm glad that I boiled those eggs because that was part of their lunch. :D I ate with them but I just had some delicious roasted squash Mom made and the sliced apples.

I texted with my school friend. I am sad at the fact that she will not be with me in the last semester of nursing school. This is not the first time my friends did not end up in the same class as me so it's nothing that new. I just really wished she would be with me throughout all the semesters because we got along together so well and I don't have the best rapport with others in the class. I wonder if it's because they're at such different life stages than me?

The weather has gotten very stormy this afternoon. I love it-! \("^o^")/ Cozy weather is the best.

I played some Fatal Frame II. I use a walkthrough because that's how much I suck at that game. OTZ It was fun and I got through another chapter of it.

Later, I drank wine with my parents and we had cheese and crackers. I really have to lay off that stuff because I've gained weight this past summer. D: It's a bit depressing. I checked myfitnesspal and the last time I used it, I was only 108 lbs! I've gained quite a bit since then. And I'm a short person so even a couple of lbs is not good. Plus, I'm Japanese so *ugh...* we have a stricter BMI scale.

While we were drinking wine, we were sitting outside in the backyard. The weather was so nice. It was around 19:00 and it was cool and breezy. The sun was low in the sky. I really wanted to stay and drink because we were all outside together. Even Grams was outside. But I had to walk Max so I put my drink in the fridge and took him. It was a good walk though. I tried to walk a different route than usual.

Later, I watched the last few episodes of Mr. Robot. I was planning on watching just one episode but they were so good, I just finished off the first season. Now, I'm very excited for season 2. It's not on Amazon Prime right now so I'll have to find another way to watch it.

I took out my thick pink blanket. The weather has finally started to cool down (well, in the evenings at least) and when I have my window open, it gets a bit too cold for the thin blanket. After setting up the new blanket, I felt so comfortable! 46

I stayed awake longer than I wanted.. but I've found over time that I really can't control what time I fall asleep unless I'm on a strict schedule (which I'm not).

My computer was on sleep mode and it turned itself on at about 3:00. That was freaky... I've been reading too many urban legend stories.

Thursday, August 18, 2016

WarnerBros DC Animated Movies: Pt 1

Yes, I have been filling the void, as my brother has told me.155

After the end of Game of Thrones season, The Flash season 2, and Young Justice I felt this large hole in my heart... T-T

So I went off in search of something that would inspire me once more and discovered the DC animated movies! I heard that the newer ones had very nice animation, similar to a high quality anime and I thought, why not?

And that was the start of my binge watching. I thought I'd give a light review of each. Some were very awesome, some were just pretty to watch. It was interesting how a studio that made such great movies could have such bad ones too. I like consistency...

I'll start with my favorites.

1. Son of Batman


By far my favorite DC animation. I love everything about it. They animation style (especially), plot, and character development are all well developed. The animation kind of looks anime inspired but with none of the 'kawaii' content. It's very fun and amusing watching Batman's relationship with his son form after never knowing he had a son. I also love how Damian had to transform from being simply an assassin to someone with a sense of mercy.
4/5

2. Batman: Under the Red Hood


This movie has a very good story. It kept me hooked throughout the entire movie because I wondered when Jason Todd would show up again and why he was so angry with Batman. Character designs were okay but not as sleek-looking as Son of Batman's animation style. I felt like only Jason was animated with closer attention to detail compared to the other characters.
4/5

3. Batman: Assault on Arkham


This movie was so much fun! There's something about 'bad' characters doing whatever the hell they want that's so liberating. I like how each of the characters in the Suicide Squad had to get organized and find a way to work together. The animation is top notch. I think that if DC doesn't do the anime-ish style, they should use this style for character designs.
4/5

4. Justice League vs Teen Titans


Back to anime style. This was the first DC animated movie I watched. The style is anime inspired and this movie isn't afraid to admit it. In fact, there's a DDR scene and this (kind of awkward) magical girl transformation scene. I didn't think those were necessary but they put them in for some reason. I guess the director likes that kind of stuff? The story was pretty cool, going into Raven's backstory and stopping her evil dad from destroying the world.
3.5/5

5. Justice League: The Flashpoint Paradox


I've heard people complain about some of the character designs of this movie (well, mainly Superman's design). Personally, it didn't bother me terribly, since the significant characters (The Flash and Batman) are okay. Some also argue that they wish the movie didn't force feed Batman down our throats. I haven't had too much of Batman yet so it doesn't exactly bother me although I can see their point. It's supposed to be a movie about Barry yet they have Batman playing a big role in it. Well, I would think that even The Flash needs help sometimes so I was glad they had another big character to support him. Another thing that surprised me about this movie was how ultra violent it was. There were guns and all but having someone be-headed, having a person's chest ripped open to reveal their beating heart, and finally a close up of someone being shot straight through their brain? I'm honestly surprised this wasn't rated R. Well, as long as little kids aren't watching this.
4/5

6. Batman: Bad Blood


I thought this movie was engaging enough to follow through until the end. The animation has continuity with Son of Batman which I appreciate. I also enjoyed seeing different characters of the 'Bat Family'. One of the things that really bothered me about this movie was the villain and their/her weird plot. I didn't really understand her plot to brainwash those people and Batman. Not that I really know Talia's character, but I never took her to be the type to want to 'have' someone even in a brainwashed state. It's just kind of strange because the last time I saw her, she was leaving peacefully to have her son raised by his dad. And now she comes back just wanting to brainwash him? I found that very out of character among other things she did.
3.5/5

7. Justice League: Doom


This movie was fun, if not a bit over the top. The animation was clean and flowed well. The designs of the characters were also nice; they were similar but not quite on par with Young Justice's designs. It's basically about how Vandal Savage hacks into Batman's files and steals his info on other JL member's weaknesses. There were a few that were a bit lame like Green Lantern's but I just went with it. I appreciate the movie explaining Vandal Savage's origin story. As someone who hasn't read the comics, it helped me to understand his motives just a teensy bit better even though his reasoning was still stupid. Overall, still entertaining.
3/5

Wednesday, July 20, 2016

June, 2016 Favorites

I often see people doing these kinds of things for makeup on youtube so I thought I would make my own list of things I've been liking this past June. ^^

1. Body Shop Satsuma Body Butter


I got this from a local Marshall's and it smells so nice! It's citrus so it's more energizing and it makes my hands feel so soft.

2. The Flash TV Series


Nuff said. I wrote a post all about how much I love this show. It even made me start watching DC animations, the most recent one being Young Justice which is also amazing. (*o*)

3. Bunny Wrist Rest


I found this baby in a Daiso store while in Seoul, Korea. I didn't think much of it at first, just that it would be interesting to try out. But it's proven to be wonderful and feels like a luxury cushion for my wrist.

4. Final Fantasy XIII-2


I bought this while it was on sale on the PlayStation Network. Long story short, I had some money in there from a game purchase mistake refund. I know this game gets a lot of heat from people but its replayability is kind of amazing. I've played this game maybe 3 times now and I like it more for the gameplay than the story.

5. Facial Masks


This is one of the things I bought a ton of in Korea. Mostly because of all the sales I see outside of shops. Some of them literally came out to only 48 cents per mask! That's too much of a steal to pass up. I've been using one everyday and I think it will last me 4 months. But my skin feels so much more moisturized since I started doing the daily sheet mask!

6. Mickey Mouse Sleeveless Shirt


It's been so hot these days and although it's brought some rain, the temperature has been steadily rising. I found this shirt while in Korea. I thought it was really cute and would make for comfortable lounge wear. ;)

7. This Bow Hairclip


This has been a really cute and nice thing to keep my hair out of my face. I've been growing my bangs out and this helps a lot and makes me feel kawaii. xP

8. Blueberries


We had this major sale of blueberries at the Farmer's Market for only 88 cents per container of blueberries! So we ended up eating a ton of blueberries this past June. I found they make a great healthy snack, just by itself.

9. BB Cushions


I just recently opened up to these things and I realize that they're actually really cool products. They make the application of foundation much cleaner and easier process. The first one I tried was my sister's Loreal Lumi Cushion and from there I branched out to other types. I might put up my own review in the future if I collect enough of these.

10. Seltzer Water


I find this a great alternative to soda. I never drank much soda to begin with but seltzer water is really good if you want something a bit more refreshing than plain water. I'm surprised how much I like seltzer water now because I didn't like it before. Maybe it's an acquired taste.


This monthly favorites thing is really fun! I hope whoever reads this enjoyed it too! (^o^) /''

My feelings during clinicals and how I deal with them

I just got my clinical assignment for my final semester of nursing school. When I look back, it seems like I've gone through a lot even though it hasn't even been 2 years yet.

This made me reflect on my previous clinical experiences and how I dealt with some feelings that would arise.

Clinicals can be anywhere from very fun to very stressful. Factors like who your clinical instructor is, the rapport between your peers, patients, the nurse you get assigned with for the day, and just your own personal threshold makes all the difference in the world.

First Semester

This was the semester where we all went to assisted living facilities for our clinical. This was the hard and dirty work for us. No passing medications, no full assessments (although we did some light assessing), and no true collaboration with nurses. It was much more about starting from rock bottom. Nurse aide work. That means building raw skills like feeding, toileting, bed baths, transporting, and light assessing.

How I felt: 

In all honesty, I didn't really feel much of anything besides just wanting to get my assignments done. Our school liked to pile on a lot of assignments for us during this semester's clinicals. I didn't have the best rapport with that particular group partially because it was the first semester so I didn't know everyone well and partially because of the people I was with.
 
How I dealt with it:

I focused on completing my assignments for that day. I think I could have done a better job planning things out. When you plan out as much as you can what you will be doing for the day, it makes the experience much less stressful because you know what you will be doing. Then you won't have those awkward moments standing around wondering what you should be doing and then at the end of the day, wish you worked more on that case study that's due in (blank) amount of weeks. You also have more focus and won't think or worry as much about peer relations because you'll be too focused on getting your shit done.

Second Semester

This is where things started to get more serious. We were now placed in hospitals and specialty care settings such as labor and delivery for our clinicals.

How I felt:

This was one of my lonelier semesters. Our peer group was divided because of a clique and mean gossip. My own solace was with two of my peers who also seemed to be ousted from the clique. Not saying all cliques that form are the worst ever, but this one would not let anyone else in. For example, at lunch, it was a known fact that our peers are encouraged to sit with each other. Our instructor was known to not always join us for lunch. What happened was the clique would purposefully get their food and sit at a table that was not easily seen by us. So when the rest of us were going to sit somewhere, we didn't know where they were sitting and would just sit among ourselves. It was kind of awkward, especially because in all of the clinical groups, we are encouraged to be like a team and sit together with our peers at lunch. It's weird because it's like giving a sign that they don't want to sit with us. It would be different if we were not expected to sit with each other but hey, team spirit~! and we were expected to. (-__-)

How I dealt with it:

The best thing I did was to just ignore the clique and stop trying so hard to befriend some of them. There was this one girl in the clique who always gave me negative vibes as if she just didn't like me. She even talked crap about me to someone she was sitting next to in class while I was sitting right across from her and could hear her every word. I tried to talk to her a couple of times during clinical just to be friendly but she never really responded, would give short curt answers and would never try to talk to me. Eventually, I just gave up trying to be friendly with her and only speak to her when necessary. One thing you learn in life is that no matter what you do, some people are just not going to like you, no matter how nice you are to them. It was a huge weight lifted off my shoulders after I stopped trying to get on better terms with someone unwilling to try them-self.

Luckily for me, all of the nurses were very nice and I never had a problem with any of them. They were all so helpful and didn't treat me like an outsider. That was a plus since the clinical peer group I was with wasn't so great. My clinical instructor was tough but in a constructive way. Many of the people in our group would complain about our instructor but I liked her and she was nice about trying to help me and I could understand why she was not the easiest.

Third Semester

This semester was better than the last. It wasn't nearly as isolating. One of the groups I was in was the best I ever had and will probably ever have and the other was so so. It's amazing what a difference it makes to your clinical experience when you have good relations with your clinical group. It can really make or break it. The clinical group I had for my mental health rotation got along really well and we had no problem talking with each other when we went to lunch or while we were out with patients. The clinical group for med/surg was okay but I didn't have the best affinity with them. Although they never really formed cliques, I would notice at times that I often ended up being the one who didn't interact as much as the rest of them (I could be wrong though).

How I felt: 

With my mental heath group, I had no problems with them and I really wish we could always be in the same group because we worked so amazing with each other.

With my med/surg group, although I did not have the best flow of conversation with them like my last group, we at least tried to get along with each other as best as we could and our instructor was good at keeping us together at lunch and helping with conversation. The nurses were okay but this time, I got a wider variety of them and they were all quite different. The only negative experience I can recall with a nurse was when she had a nursing student who was precepting (sort of like an intern) which basically made me the third wheel. I also didn't get along the best with this nurse. Sort of like that feeling where you just have different type of energy from that person which makes you kind of repel away from them. Anyway, it really sucked being a third wheel.

How I dealt with it:

In my med/surg peer group, I noticed that I put more effort to speak up during discussions so I would not become isolated and tried to be more involved. I would also try to focus on what I needed to get done for the day and do anything and everything to stay organized. That meant making a good 'brain' for myself when I gathered data on my patients and knowing what and when their medications were due. I would also make sure I had the phone number to the nurse I was assigned to and other useful phone numbers such as room service to help patients order food.

As for being a third wheel, I tried really hard not to get emotionally affected by it. Because even though I tried to think positive thoughts like "It's only because she's precepting, you don't have to feel this way, it's not any of your faults," it still hurt. I was basically ignored for the day and did not get any opportunities from that nurse even though I asked for them because the priority is the precepting student. Unfortunately, it didn't help when I tried to talk to my clinical instructor about it. I also tried and failed to get in on some conversation about dieting with that student and my nurse (my mistake since I honestly wasn't that interested or knowledgeable about the topic). This is not the best analogy but you know that feeling you get when your good friend is getting along better with some other person who is more similar to them in every way compared to you? It was like that. And even though I wasn't best buddies with my assigned nurse, it still hurt because I felt rejected. So what did I do that day? I put my full focus on my patients and doing my best for them. I think feeling connected to my patients helped to fill the void inside me that day.


I know this isn't what most people expect to hear about nursing clinicals. But it's my personal experience and hopefully, this could also help someone going through something similar.

Friday, July 15, 2016

Bittersweet

It's been about a couple of days since my Aunty left back for Hawaii. I miss her, though the feeling is not painful. We don't have any extended family where we live. So each time they visited us, I would always have that feeling of emptiness when they left. I would feel quite sad. But now, I don't feel that sadness. I actually have more of a bittersweet feeling.

I vividly remember my feelings when I was little, how I would silently cry on the car ride home after family get together's because I wished we could always be together. Who knew my feelings would have so much more meaning because after we moved away, we would not be able to attend those gatherings anymore. Our fate of growing farther apart would be inevitable.

I've grown accustomed to this feeling of loss. I try to look forward to the future. Instead of feeling like they've left us, I feel like they're just going home and we can look forward to their next visit or  my next visit to them.

Life is full of possibilities. The glass is not half empty, it's half full.

Why I love The Flash TV series (minor spoilers)


I'm so glad that I didn't discover The Flash until this summer... Because I binge watched both seasons.

I'll admit, The Flash is cheesy. But in a good way. I appreciate how the show doesn't take itself too seriously and is open to making jokes about themselves and other shows.

One of the main reasons why I got so hooked with The Flash is because it's lighthearted and has well developed characters, including their relationships with one another. The hero, Barry Allen is also quite easy on the eyes. ;)


I really like Barry as a hero because he doesn't conform to the outdated superhero trope where girls don't see him as desirable just because he's a little awkward and nerdy. Sure, he can't seem to get the girl he loves to give him a second glance, but he's also handsome and attractive not just because of his appearance, but because of his intelligence and good heart. He doesn't have this Peter Parker syndrome where girls avoid him as if he isn't desirable, because he is. Smart, kind, and nerdy guys are sexy now.

Overall, I am happy with Grant Gustin portraying Flash. At first, I wasn't too sure about it after watching him being such a jerk on Glee but he really shines as The Flash. His acting is great and with all these Flash tears (as I like to call them), and he has been doing a spot on job at acting it out genuinely.


Going back to nerdy guys being sexy, this also applies to my other favorite character Cisco Ramon, portrayed by Carlos Valdez.


I think Carlos Valdez really made this role his own. His character is different from the original comics but since I don't read the comics, I wasn't particularly bothered by this change. In The Flash (TV series), Cisco Ramon is the quick witted, cheeky scientist who works at Star Labs.

If what I say doesn't convince people to start watching this series, Cisco's funny quotes just might.


One of the things The Flash does best is developing its characters. So, there really isn't a character I truly hate, including the villains. Even the villain from the first season was forgiven for their strange motivations because of how well everything built up to the end, in my opinion.

There's talk about how Iris West and her family were race-bent but I really don't see the significance in that so I'm not going to talk about it.


I think Iris West portrayed by Candice Patton is super pretty and gives her character a lot of strength and virtue. Although, I'm annoyed with the writers for giving her this damsel in distress syndrome during the first season. Very out of character, she would refuse to listen to people when they were trying to keep her out of danger when her character is obviously intelligent. Someone would think she could see the idiocy in her actions. I feel it's out of place that she acted ridiculously stubborn and short-sighted. This is something I blame the writers for.

I won't talk about all the character relationships but I will mention how I love the frenemy relationship that eventually blossoms between Cisco and Dr. Wells.


In the meantime, I will be occupying myself with DC animations because I can't find another live action superhero show like The Flash. Just a few more months until season 3....