Sunday, August 28, 2016

Final chapters

I've been feeling more nervous about this semester of nursing school for some reason. I should be happy, ecstatic even. But I feel anxiety. I thought about this a lot while walking with Max and it occurred to me that, this is probably because this is a final chapter. I think of life being in chapters. There are the chapters of grade school, chapters of high school, chapters of a first job, etc. This happens to be a chapter of nursing school and it's going to be over in a little over a few months. It's kind of unreal, because it's played such a large part in my life.

Even my classmates in nursing school, whether I like it or not, play a large part in this chapter. I personally like the changes of classmates in college classes and I didn't really like how we were essentially stuck with our 'cohort' for the entire two years of nursing school... But that's how it is. I always thought to myself, I wonder when I'll be able to be free of this class. And now that it's happening soon, I'm just feeling anxious. It's a bit infuriating. I should be happy, but I'm not.. exactly. At least not right now at the beginning of this semester.

I think I'm anxious and feeling nervous because there will be an unknown after this. During nursing school, I always knew that I would be continuing with another semester. But after this, there are no semesters. It's job hunting from here and getting out there into the real world. I know this is an exciting thing, but it also makes me scared. I'm sure that once I get out there, it will be different. My fears will decrease because I'll vanquish the unknown. I'll get used to it, I'm sure. I just hope that I get over this anxious feeling soon. I've got a lot of planning and studying to focus on. (>_<)

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