It's like all of the crap from earlier never happened. As I left from work, the weather mocked me with its cool, steady drops of rain and the sun giving its last farewell for the day, peaking through the clouds. I even saw a double rainbow!
Today, I was literally the definition of a corporate slave. Below is Urban Dictionary's definition:
The people who make the business world go round and round, without them executives might actually have to do something besides make rules to make it more difficult for the slaves under them to do their job. Corporate slaves are easily identifiable by the vacant look in their eyes as they are always overworked, underpaid and underappreciated." Urban Dictionary
I currently work part-time (baito) at a department store and in all honesty, it usually isn't that bad. It just happened to be 100 times worse today than it normally is because it was a sale day and that means lots of people with lots of messes. With that said, it's days like today that make me realize my position and how I'm actually a corporate slave, no matter how much managers like to sugar-coat it.
Firstly, I will mention that with it being a department store, not every associate is equal. It's insanely unfair. There can be two associates in the store, both get paid the same rate, and yet one has to work their ass off all day, barely keeping their head above water, while the other can be loafing around, and chatting with other associates by mere virtue of which department they're scheduled in.
Secondly, I work in an unfortunate department where there's a ton of clothing and that means it can easily turn into a vicious cycle. What I'm trying to say is there can be so many piles of clothing to put away and yet we get absolutely nowhere with it because more clothes will always be piling up faster than we could ever hope to put away.
Thirdly, I don't know why the f*ck the corporation does nothing about this, but there are NO fitting room attendants to control the flow of clothing in and out of fitting rooms. This means that even though there's a pitiful joke of a sign saying "only 6 garments per customer," people will still take as many pieces of clothing as they please into fitting rooms and frequently leave piles upon piles of clothing to be hung back on hangers. This takes even more time away from actually putting the clothes away.
I have a sales goal but I felt like I spent every precious minute of my time putting away go-backs (aka, clothes). If I didn't spend time putting stuff away, it would pile up and create a living hell for the next person who comes to work. I'm a decent person so I sucked it up and did my slave work.
It was a sad day and I literally felt like a slave the entire time. There's nothing worse than working your ass off and getting nowhere with it. It's completely self-defeating. I would put away so many go-backs only to find more messy fitting rooms and more messy clearance racks and more messy EVERYTHING waiting for me after are mere half hour. I put away one piece of clothing, I get 20 more...
And not only was I being ridiculously overworked, but the fact of me feeling like a slave made me really hate myself... Like, why in the world do I put myself through this sh*t? Idk how exactly to explain it but it's like the feeling of when you don't like/are ashamed of who you are, and then you start to think that everyone is against you. It's a really sh*tty place to be in.
I was also getting the feeling that the managers working today were turning up their noses and wouldn't even look at us in our pitiful situation. Sort of like they saw us as this ugly issue that they decided to overlook because they couldn't face it. When we needed the most help, they turned a blind eye. It's like they pretended that we didn't exist. I feel this way because I would see managers walking through our department but not once did they evaluate the situation or even give some advice as to how we could improve it. We had no direction given to us. We were on our own.
A good example is when one of my coworkers and I decided to get a large Z-rack to organize some clothing on and just help us so we wouldn't be piling a five foot tower of clothing on the customer service counter. All the available clothing racks were full and customers were piling clothes in the doorway of the fitting room. It was disgusting and ridiculous but I couldn't really blame them because there was no available rack to put them on.
One of our managers comes around and gives the heat to my coworker (as I was at lunch), telling her that she has to get all those clothes on the Z-rack put away and has to get the Z-rack back on the docks. I can understand that she's mad because we can't have Z-racks out (which is ridiculous btw) but my MAIN issue is that she not once offered advice on 'what' to do with the excess go-backs. What the f*ck do they expect us to do with all that extra clothing?!! All the racks were filled. Did she want us to throw them on the floor?
It's days like this where I wish I could just quit this job I got myself into. I'm wishing internally that I had accepted another job offer (in the beginning) at a different store that doesn't have.... you guessed it! Clothes. (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻
I really don't want to be working at this place another holiday season where we have days that are locked and we're required to work them. I usually give away my shifts in my designated hell of an area and pick up shifts in different departments that are 100x easier than my own.
I would suggest to anyone that if you're ever considering working in a clothing store, PLEASE, PLEEEASE, PLEEEEEEEEEEASE rethink your options! Applying to clothing stores is just asking for retail hell, fitting room attendant or not.
I've been trying so hard to find another job too but all my efforts don't seem to be yielding any results. I wonder if applying for jobs online isn't effective. I always question myself about that yet most of the jobs I've gotten were from applying online...
Maybe someday I'll look back on that moment while I was sitting in my sauna of a car on break, desperately calling a number from a job posting for an interview, only to meet with disappointment after the hiring agent tells me that the position was filled, and think to myself, "it wasn't meant to be" as I've gotten an even better job offer.