Saturday, May 11, 2013

How to say "NO" without saying no

Have you ever been around this person who always seems to ask favors of you?  Do you feel like you're a sap who's being taken advantage of?  And do you have a difficult time just telling them "NO?"

Well today is your lucky day because this post is just for you guys! :D

I thought about this issue today because I recently encountered a person that tried to take advantage of my kindness at work this afternoon; I now realize how important it is for us nice folks to be prepared.

I can completely relate to this situation because I'm the type of person who wants to please everyone and I usually don't refuse if someone asks something of me (except for money & car rides, lol).

First lets talk about my experience at work.

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The area I was in generally needs keys to open locked items and it's kind of annoying because there's so many workers but only two pairs of keys.

One of my coworkers was with a customer and she asked me if I could find her the keys.  I was okay with it at first since it would be easy for me to ask another coworker nearby for the keys I saw she had.  So I get the keys and hand them to her and she takes them from me with a blank stare on her face without even thanking me.  I seriously get mad if people don't show their appreciation for others going out of their way for them.

It's not my duty to get the keys for her.  She's actually responsible for doing that on her own and NOT RELYING ON OTHER COWORKERS TO GET IT FOR HER.

I was doing her a FAVOR and all she can manage is a silent frown on her face. 

Moving on to the part where she actually takes advantage of my kindness, I happened to walk past her on my way to another department and she stops me with a stupid smile on her face, and has the nerve to ask if I could get the keys for her again.

Now here is where I feel like I was the Queen of Awesome because my mind quickly processed what I had to do.

I gave an excuse.

I told her that I was called to this other department so I couldn't do it.  In simpler terms, I was telling her that I was too busy.

So she probably ended up getting herself the damn keys.  Hah!

Just to be clear, to me, this isn't about getting the keys, and I'm not actually mad about that simple act or task.  What truly irritates me in this situation is that I was being kind and doing something nice for someone else but not only did the person outwardly lack appreciation, but they also had abuse my good intentions and selfishly use it to their advantage.

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I think this is totally the way to rebuke those that try to take advantage of you.  All you have to do is come up with some excuse whether it's true or if it's a lie.  It doesn't even matter.

And don't feel bad because you're lying.  It's wrong of these people to take advantage of your kindness in the first place; Why is it so bad to protect yourself with a lie?

I believe that if you're not hurting anyone with it, it's completely okay to tell a little lie.  Of course there's things like cheating that's bad but that's a different topic.

Another example is with my friend from class.

She was telling me about how people would always ask her for money and she would give it to them because they would pressure her into it and she told me that it was really hard for her to say "no."

So I gave her the advice that if she couldn't say 'no', she should give them an *excuse* for why she couldn't give them money.  I told her that she should tell them she was saving up for something like a car or even better, education.  Remember, "study" and "education" are the magic words! :3

There you have it.  If you have a hard time saying no, simply say you're busy with (insert excuse) or give any other kind of excuse, even if you have to make it up.

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