Tuesday, June 4, 2013

What should I do with my life?

I'm sure most people ask themselves this question at some point in their lifetime.  Hell, they might ask this question all the time.

As for me, I'm still in my 20's and it's proven to be one of my most lost and confusing years.

I've been in school literally around 4-5 years and still haven't gotten a bachelor's from it.  I feel lucky to have somehow put together an Associates degree.

When I think back, I feel like I've been spending a lot of time running around aimlessly, unsure of where I'm going or why I'm doing this.

It's nice to say that I haven't spent every waking moment lost and confused but I still feel that a lot of time was spent experimenting with no real direction.

I think the only good thing I got out of this was that I learned so much about myself that I probably never could have learned in other ways...  Which is actually quite a great thing but not so much in the eyes of society.

At this moment, I'm reminiscing a lot more because I've recently gotten a clearer idea of how long it will take me to get into this nursing program that I've been on a waitlist for.

I got an email from the adviser telling us about transcripts and making sure they're correct.  I emailed her back asking some questions like what my waitlist number is.  She replied right away and even had my waitlist number.  After calculating, I found that it could possibly take another year or two before I can get into that program.  O _ o

So far, I've been waiting for a little over a year and thinking about waiting another possible 1-2 years is starting to make me wonder what I should do during that time.

I want to do something meaningful with my life but I really don't know what.  In a way, this is a really great opportunity to do something interesting and fun before I'm crushed under the weight of books and studies.

I know a ton of people who look at the waiting time and see the horror before them.  But I don't want to think that way.  I want to look at this so called 'problem' and find the good in it, maybe even not see it as a problem at all.  Thinking negative never gets me anywhere so I'm going to attempt to think positive about this!

There's so many things I could do during that time, it's hard for my mind to come up with ideas...

Should I go on an international trip?

Should I volunteer somewhere? (Oh wait, I already am at a hospital, Woot! :D)

Should I take up a new hobby?

Should I improve my art skills?

Should I learn a new skill?

Should I read more educational books?

There's so many possibilities that await me with all that time before I dedicate my life to this profession I'm getting into.  It's quite exciting but also overwhelming with all the possible things I could do.  I really want to do something that will help me to grow as a person.  I think going on an international trip on my own or with a sibling would be most rewarding.  I'm a little scared to go on my own, but I think it could prove to be good for me to learn some real independence.

I've always wanted to visit England since I've already been blessed and lucky enough to go to Japan and Korea (even though I would love to go to those places again and again forever).  I'll have to wait and see.

Hopefully you all aren't as lost as I was, or... maybe still am?  I feel as if I've somehow found direction again with nursing because it's something that's solidified in my life's timeline.  But after nursing school is over, I'm sure I'll lose what direction I had again and have to find a new direction.  That's why I feel like a lot of people in this life, even though they don't admit it, will always be lost at some point and ask themselves what their purpose is; They'll always have to find a new way to go after they've walked the last road they took.


hershoutouts said...

This post was really... good :'s

You are right. Most people do ask themselves what purpose they have in life. At least I know I'm asking the same question you are asking(or "were" asking). I also feel a bit lost. I have no idea what I want to do with my life so I just let the "power" swipe me away. You know, I'm pretty good in class etc... but I have noooo idea of what or where I want to continue my studies. I actually don't even know if the things I've learnt will come in handy in any way for me. I only tried to get good grades for the sake of my parents. I don't know what I want. I'm confused. I only decided to choose the technology program in high school because I wanted to be good enough for my parents. So... *sigh* This post actually made me realize that I was just going with the flow. That I don't have my own sense of direction, if you know what I mean...

I hope both of us will find the answer to that question someday. And, although you have to wait for about a year or two to get into the nursing program I will still congratulate you since you're going to be able to get into that program anyway ^_^ I'm happy that you found your direction again with nursing. And... Until that time comes you should definitely relax! You could read more educational books every now and then, but I think you should do the things that you feel you want to do :3

PS. I've just realized a few days ago that you're in your 20's >< And I'm just 16. And I said "You're so sweet" to you! I'm embarrassed since you don't use the word "sweet" to someone older than you :(( I'm so sorry!!

PSS. I'm also sorry for writing such a long comment

PSSS. I've also read your post about "learning how to say 'no' without really saying 'no'. Just like that woman who used you to get her keys, I have a friend who uses me to carry her stuff. It's almost the same like when you were upset about the fact that she didn't show any appreciation even though you helped her to get the keys! My friend does say thank you though, but sometimes it feels like she asks me for that favor way too many times(other favors too). What's upsetting me even more is that she does that when she's hanging out with her new friends. Sometimes it made me feel as if I was only following her for the purpose to please her needs. I hope I'll be able to reject her in an unoticable way. Thank you for your advices in that post. ^__^

PSSSS. I'm so sorry again. Somehow I can't stop myself from writing .__.

MiNapi said...

@hershoutouts, Thank you so much! ^^
If I could do it all over again, I think I would have researched more into what prerequisite classes (example: math, science, etc) would apply to almost any college. While doing those courses, I would perhaps take a career test or a test that could help me narrow down what kind of job I would want to do. Maybe I could have also experimented more and tried to expose myself to different professions. For example, maybe take an internship or do volunteer work. That's what I would suggest to anyone so they don't make the same mistakes I did and use their time more efficiently.

And thank you! You are very sweet as well! I agree, I should at least attempt to read a couple of educational books. :P

And also, no no, I'm not offended at all! Actually I was quite flattered. I don't think it really matters what age a person is to use that phrase. Maybe if it was a little kid, then it might be weird but still cute! lol

Your friend makes you do that? Is it like she has too much stuff or she just makes you carry her stuff when she can easily do it herself?

And are you saying that she's making you carry her stuff while you're all with these new friends of her's? That's what I understood from it. So wrong! Omg D:<

In my experience, usually when you feel like someone is taking advantage of you, your instincts are correct. So yes, I would definitely decline her now and then so she gets the idea that you're not some pushover who will do whatever she asks of you.

It's sad but there's a lot of people in this world that will try to take whatever they can from you if you show them that you're more willing to do things than the average person.

And no worries! I love reading long messages so it's no issue with me! x)

hershoutouts said...

Thank you for telling me that. I actually thought of doing the same, though I hadn't thought of it as detailed as that xD ( but I guess you didn't either when you were my age? >< )

Haha, you're welcome, and thank you >//<

~~I think you definitely should! :D I just hope you find it fun to read. (When I was at this anime/manga convention I actually saw some educational-manga-books. They were pretty cool! '-' I never read those text-bubbles though, because my friend was in a hurry to drag me away from there. I have no idea what those books are called but you like manga, right? It will probably help if you lose your motivation :3)

Aha x) I actually pictured a little kid saying "you're so sweet", when I had that realization moment! xD

I wouldn't mind helping her to carry her stuff if they were too heavy for her. >< She was running after this boy and left me in this corner to carry her bag for her .___. It felt really, uhm... upsetting... because well, she left me there alone and went with her other friends to go find him. I felt pretty abandoned xD It's okay now though! :3

Yeah. :/ I will try to do that a bit more. My best friend sometimes forces me to say "no" when that friend asks me for any favors. So during those times I usually keep quiet and let my best friend handle it. I hate the guilty feeling I get though ;_____;

Yeah, I know :(
We have to stay strong and practise to say "no".

Yay :D I love reading long messages too! *high five* xP