But before I forget, I started off my day with the lovely smell of barf. Yes, barf. Dog barf.....
Scruffy felt sick this morning and decided to throw up right under the blankets. It also got on my sweat pants (reason why I'm feeling so much colder today). So instead of enjoying my morning sipping some hot tea, I spent most of it cleaning off barf from my blanket and sweat pants.
Now back to the main topic.
I'm not all that into these 'class sessions' where there's expected participation for the discussions.
I'm extremely good at writing my answers but for whatever reason, it always gets awkward for me when we have to orally answer questions.
First of all, I'm not really an obnoxious or loud person. Anyway as far back as I can remember, whenever I tried to answer a question an instructor asked, for SOME reason, I would almost always get interrupted by some loudmouth who talks over me. I start to say something but loudmouth only decides to talk at the very moment I do. It's gotten so annoying that I eventually chose to not answer anything unless asked specifically or unless there's a super long silence. I mean, wtf, why do people always have to decide to talk literally ONE SECOND after I start to? So f*cking annoying. So then I just decide to not say anything because hey, why compete with others who also know the answer and obviously want to get noticed?
Then people start to say I'm "so quiet." I mean, okay, it's not like it's like they're claiming me to be shy because that's not quite true. But they say it like it's a bad thing. F*ck you social norms. Whatever, quiet or not, at least I'm not easy to read.
So we had finally finished the agonizing 'class session' for the whole "take-it up a notch" with selling (did I mention we even had to role-play situations?) ORZ
I had to made up some cheesey-as-hell dialogue to get through that. It's one of those moments where you mentally imagine yourself vomiting internally.
I headed back to work and it started off okay (albeit I got stuck again in an area that I like to avoid) and started putting stuff away. In the middle of it, my manager comes up to me and tells me to do my job in this way instead of the way I usually do it. I decided to just do what she says and at least TRY to do my work in her way just to see if it worked out any better than how I usually work.
Unfortunately for me, it didn't. While I was working, I noticed that I rarely found anything and where it was supposed to be, and I had no idea of where the item went because I wasn't near the register (where I usually work) to scan the it for info. I was also in an area where almost all the crap there looked the same.
My eyes also started to get really dry (I wear contacts) from looking around so much to find sh*t. I know, this sounds like I'm such a wussy bitch but my eyes were seriously starting to get irritated in that pre-headache kind of way and even slightly blurry sometimes. Maybe I was tired... I dunno wtf was going on. All I knew was that I was frustrated as hell from the stupid selling training session and from not being able to find out where things went in the Godforsaken area I was in.
It took me a good hour and 45 minutes to put away only one rack of product and a lot of the stuff I just bs'd and put it in some random spot where there were a lot of other 'lost items.' I felt no remorse though because my manager was so insistent that I do my job HER way so whatever, if it's gonna be inefficient, then so be it!
I did feel like I was crying inside.
When I looked like I was somewhat finished, she suggested to me again that I roll out another rack of stuff and put it away the same way. NO (I thought). I'm sorry but that way just doesn't work for me (plus my shift was almost over, thankyuuu almightly God in heaven! :D)
I felt like such a retard for almost my whole shift because I couldn't find anything and didn't really have any way of finding stuff without having to walk all the way back to the register. And here my manager thought that doing the job her way would prevent me from walking back and forth.. *fffuuuuuuu......*
That's a good life lesson. Just because someone wants you to do a certain job their way doesn't mean that it's the most efficient. I just proved my own point. It's too bad I let myself suffer doing that though.
I'm really trying to get a different job now because the job I have is starting to get on my nerves and in a bad, chronic way.
You know you should change your job when you start to dread going there as much as I am. I think it's more my home department location that's driving me up the walls.
First of all, I work for a corporation. And in any corporation, there's gonna be some kind of unreasonable pressure from the higher-ups. Mine is to make my sales goal and also to get out credits.
Okay, so those two things don't sound that bad right? Well what if I told you that on some, no, many days, it's almost impossible to make your sales goal? And also, what if I told you that ONLY by being in a certain department at the perfectly right time, with the perfectly right person, with the perfectly right situation will get you a credit?
Yeah, so anyway, I'm going to list some contradictions to my job below and what has been gnawing away at my soul for the past few weeks:
1. Sales Goals: Managers expect you to score a high average weekly sales goal. In my case, I'm in a department where there are tons of clearance items, tons of coupons, sometimes pre-sales that don't even apply to our goal, and if we get a credit out, it decreases the amount the customer is buying by 15-20%, lowering our sales goal. A huge factor in an associate achieving their sales goal depends on their department location.
With this, I feel like the system is telling me, hey, I want you to sell this much but I'm going to give out all these coupons, put all these things on clearance, and make sure to put stuff away and clean. Oh, and I also expect you to pre-sale items but those aren't applied to your goal. Good luck!
2. Feeling happy for the customer after they purchase items: Again, sometimes customers have a ton of coupons where they could get as much as 30% off their purchases and they also buy a ton of clearance. With this sales goal hanging over our head, how can we feel truly happy for the customer after they purchase stuff when they're using coupons and lowering the amount applied to our sales goal? And even if we had coupons, why would we want to help them save money?
In all honesty, this makes me feel like a bad person because I can't even feel happy for the customer when they saved so much money. I also feel bad withholding a coupon that I know I have. It's pretty twisted. The system tells us to feel happy for the customer after they buy stuff and yet they make us hide the fact that we have coupons, entice customers with a mountain of clearance that doesn't even put a dent in our sales goal, try to suck the life out of customers by pushing them to open store credits, and even going as far as to suggest other items to go with whatever they're buying when they're AT THE REGISTER.
3. Credits: We try and we try and we try harder. Selling credits is the number one priority above all else. If you don't make them because of either bad luck, bad timing for you,... it doesn't even matter. Managers will get on your ass for this one. It's really annoying because it's yet another contradiction. If we make a credit, yay us but hey, we just lowered the amount applied to our sales goal but so much %. It's also stupid because with everything being so cheap (clearance), wtf would someone even want to open a credit card for saving what......., $3?!!! So with the credits, it's annoying that the associates that get praised for it are the ones who have it so much easier because they're making transactions in the $100's. I would love to see these same people work in our department just to see how good they really are at selling credits.
Well, here's what I feel like saying to the corporation:
*Sigh...* Maybe I just don't like my own department. I've worked in almost all the departments of our store and I can honestly say that some departments have to work 10x harder than others. For example, my department is possibly one of the busiest, most demanding, and most difficult above all others except maybe one other department. No wonder some people seem happier than others.
I guess if I were to simply advertise off my shifts and pick up shifts in different areas, I would feel like I'm not abusing my body as much... But then I would be hinting way too much that I don't like my home department.
But it's besides the point. I'm currently working toward improving my life and getting a job that doesn't have so much contradictions and pressure for things that just aren't realistic. I also feel like I can do so much better than what I'm currently doing.
I'm starting to feel as if the 'corporation' is trying to make me feel like I'm incompetent at my own job. I'm trying my best and they only seem to want to push us further towards the edge just because sales aren't that great.
I'll give an example; In the class session, they talked to us about how we might be having a bad day and how that would affect the customer. Not once did they mention anything about how we should deal with our feelings but pretty much disregarded them and went off on some weird tangent about how we should kiss the customer's ass etc, etc. I mean, in reality, if an associate is feeling like complete sh*t, what are the chances that they'll actually kiss ass? I don't think keeping ill feelings inside and accommodating a needy prick of a customer is going to do any good.
This seems like the more realistic outcome, lol.
Okay, so I feel like I'm becoming more incompetent and also my soul feels like it's withering away because of the contradictions I mentioned above.
Maybe I'm not meant to be at this job anymore. I'm sort of surprised because I actually somewhat enjoyed it during the holidays and didn't seem to have any issues. Maybe the corporate reality is starting to sink in and I'm realizing that I'm being used and abused.
Well, that's about all I have to say. I have a headache now because of the accumulation of sh*t that happened to me this morning. Maybe I pushed myself too hard mentally/physically.
I thought that I would have a lot more energy to walk my dogs but I don't think I will. I have a headache and for some reason, my body feels cold even though it's not that cold in the house. I hope I'm not coming down with something because I don't feel sick. :(
This is me right now.
Ironically, my headache is better now when it's already dark outside... so I'll just continue hanging out in my safe house.
Goodnight guys! Hope you're having a better day than I did.